Open-Handed Love
“…I
love my children with an artist’s heart—a heart that’s open, that’s not afraid
of its pain, that aspires to reach for joy—not with a clinched fist, not with white
knuckles, but with an open hand.”
Colin
Farrell (from Variety article, “We’re Going to Die and Make Serious Mistakes: Colin
Farrell and Jamie Lee Curtis Confront Their Acting Legacies and Sobriety,” by
Daniel D’Addario, December 10, 2022)
My niece
Katie sent me this article from Variety. It’s a conversation between Colin Farrell
and Jamie Lee Curtis about many things, especially their humanity as opposed to
their celebrity. Both Curtis and Farrell are in recovery from alcoholism and
drug addiction and have taken a deep dive into their own psyches to stay in
balance in recovery. I recommend the article not because they are famous, but
because they say some wise and true things.
What
struck me from the quote above was the comparison Farrell made between open-hearted
love and closed-fisted love. He defined his love for his children as “an artist’s
heart” because as an actor he must reach down into his own emotional depths to
play a demanding role. Even playing a role with heart can be a painful
experience. Even watching another person play a role can be a painful
experience—I regularly cry when watching tender scenes in movies. Don’t you?
Open-hearted
love is both beautiful and painful. It carries risk. The risk of not being
loved in return or of losing the love of the cherished one. There’s a risk that
you must sacrifice something of yourself to be in relationship with your
beloved because love requires attention, time, and energy. My friends, Dejuana and
Ladonna have a new puppy—a little Australian mini-blue shepherd. They’re head
over heels in love with little Luna, and just the other day, Luna escaped from
her enclosure and was nowhere to be found. Frantic searching ensued and sounding
the alarm for others to search—only to find Luna asleep inside a stereo
cabinet. Which of us hasn’t known that terrible fear and panic? Great love
carries the risk of great loss—but without great love, life is not “worth a
bent penny.” (Mary Oliver)
Whoever
or whatever you love, open your hands and love without fear. Close-fisted love
is not worth having simply because it isn’t love at all. It’s possession. If you
love, wear it like a flowing cloak—let the world see and let your heart see,
too. There’s no greater joy, and, believe me, it is worth whatever risk comes
with it.
In
the Spirit, Jane
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