It's Not About You!

Frankl’s Advice

“Some of the hardest, yet most freeing advice I’ve ever received is the statement, ‘It’s not about you.’ There are moments in life when we ‘do the right thing’ and fill with spiritual joy. We don’t think about who may be watching, if we’ll get credit, or how it may come back around. We just do it.”

Dan Whalen (5 Viktor Frankl Quotes to Reshape Your Perspective Today, Addicted 2 Success, July 20, 2018)

          Sometimes, when I can’t make sense of what’s going on in the world (which is most of the time), I come back to Viktor Frankl’s unique perspective written so long ago in his small, post-holocaust book, Man’s Search for Meaning. He survived Auschwitz and wrote about his understanding of why some people survived and some did not. He believed that survivors, and even some who died, found meaning in their suffering that made all the difference.

          One of the quotes Dan Whalen pulled from Man’s Search for Meaning was, “Between stimulus and response, there is a space. In that space, is our power to choose.” Several articles and news stories in the past forty-eight hours have featured angry people protesting the shut down of our economy in the face of the coronavirus pandemic. Seeing protestors, some waving flags with swastikas or the confederate stars and bars, yelling racial slurs, and other ugly words, sends such a range of emotions through me that I have a hard time not reflecting their rage. So, the message, “It’s not about you,” is one I need to hear.

          Obviously, I respect the first amendment right to speak one’s mind and even to protest, and I have done it many times myself. I sit down every morning and express my own opinion of things, so I take this right seriously. I also believe that one’s right ends when it impacts others in a negative way, or when it incites violence. My right to protest does not give me the right to harm others, so it’s truly unfortunate that this is happening in such a way that it endangers not only the protestors, but everyone else.

          When people are suffering, they feel desperate. And when we allow fear to direct our behavior, it’s likely to end with people getting hurt. Since we’re already in the middle of a pandemic, and in many places, Alabama included, cases are still on the rise, this additional anger accompanied by threatening behavior, is throwing fuel on a wildfire that may consume us all.

This pandemic is not about you or me. It’s not about our rights or our politics. It’s about life and death. We may feel frustrated and angry, but rioting in the streets will not bring resolution, and will not, in the end, get us what we want. In six weeks, more than 40,000 people in the US have died, and it is likely, that many more will die in the next few weeks. We must suffer the inconvenience of staying at home for a little while longer, if not for ourselves, then for others.

Viktor Frankl wrote, “In some way, suffering ceases to be suffering at the moment it finds meaning.” The meaning here is simply that we are “doing the right thing” by limiting our contact with one another. It is for the greater good that we sacrifice our “rights” today for our long-term survival and that of others. It’s a good-enough cause for me, and hopefully for you, too.

I’ll leave you with a final Frankl quote to ponder: “When we are no longer able to change a situation, we are challenged to change ourselves.” Let’s spend today increasing our emotional intelligence quotient. Stay home and stay safe.

                                        In the Spirit,

                                        Jane