Love
or Anger
“Love
won’t be tampered with; love won’t go away. Push it to one side, and it creeps
to the other.”
“Revenge
is a sorrow for the person who has to take it on. And the person who is rash
enough to think it’s going to help a situation is always wrong.”
Louise
Erdrich
Louise Erdrich is one of my favorite writers. Her mother is Turtle Mountain Chippewa, who met her father when he came to teach on reservation. Her parents have now been married for sixty years, and Erdrich says they still make her laugh. If you have ever read her books you know they contain equal parts of humor and pathos, and always a good story.
The two quotes above are, to me, representative of our own attitudes during this time of self-imposed quarantine from the novel corona virus. Most everyone I know is enjoying being forced to take time off from work, and has no problem entertaining themselves at home. A friend told me yesterday that it’s helped her give up feeling guilty about taking an afternoon nap. I know this is not the case for everyone, certainly not for people whose wages are hourly. Some of us are in dire straits about keeping a roof over our heads and feeding our families. Some of us are simply angry and in denial. We don’t believe the pandemic is real and we are defying the restrictions. We do that at our own peril—and unfortunately, at the peril of others.
Truly, these two positions—love
and revenge (a form of fear)—are our choices every day, and not just when we
are in the middle of a pandemic. Those of us who are accepting the order to
shelter in place, or at least stay home as much as possible, probably face
other difficulties in life from this center of concerned, informed acceptance.
It does not mean that we do not feel the gravity of our situation, or that we’re
cavalier about work. Most of us are not wealthy and are watching with bated breath
the plummet of the stock markets and the collapse of the economy. But we realize
that it is in the interest of the greater good that we take care of ourselves
so that we don’t jeopardize others or stress an already maxed-out medical system.
Those of us who are going
about business as usual and are mad about the closing of restaurants and bars, may
be people who entertain a lot of anger all the time. In Alabama, gun sales are
way up—always a barometer of fear. In the middle of this pandemic, if we are
most concerned about the inconvenience to us, and the limitations to our life, this
may be a good time to look at our overall emotional health. Anger, like all
negative emotions is a product of fear. We might ask ourselves, what’s
generating my fear? Is it the virus? Is it because I feel threatened? Is it
because I have an inflated sense of my own entitlement? Am I in denial?
Anger, revenge, all fear-based
toxic emotions, hurt the bearer. They erode one’s physical and mental health,
as well as one’s ability to trust and accept life on its own terms. Some of us
have lived long enough to remember polio and tuberculosis and the severe limitations
they demanded. We understand the meaning of pandemic. This illness is moderate
for most people but deadly for others. In order to protect ourselves and those
who are most at risk of dying from it, we don’t need a gun, we simply need to
heed the restrictions to our usual routine. We can do that with love, or we can
do it with fear and anger. These are our choices, period. Let’s pull together
and do our part.
In the Spirit,
Jane
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