Sunday, March 14, 2021

No Simple Solutions

 

Complex Culture

“Stop trying to change reality by attempting to eliminate complexity.”

David Whyte

          We live in a culture that values instant gratification. We want what we want when we want it. Some of that is due to being a young culture in comparison to the world at large. And some of it has to do with the singularly American attitude of entitlement. In other words, as a culture we are more like spoiled children than mature adults. My friend Anna and I had a conversation recently about the lack of training for soft skills such as empathy, cooperation, and consideration for others. Where should they be taught, when, how, and by whom? Because children are not naturally given to egalitarianism, these skills must be explicitly taught. Anna is a Licensed Clinical Social Worker, who has seen firsthand the consequences of our engrained attitudes. But you don’t have to be a social worker to see the results of entitlement.

          One of the great advances of humankind was to learn how to live together in discrete social units that help each other. The only reason we have existed for as long as we have and developed the complex cultures we now inhabit is because we learned early to cooperate, negotiate, integrate, and learn from one another. The greatest disservice to this wisdom has been the notion that the group with the biggest army and most powerful weapons is also the best and most deserving of reaping the harvest and claiming the spoils of the conquered. We stopped cooperating and put all our energy into aggression. It is a U-turn away from where our greatest strength lies. What it has caused is continuous war and a shifting hierarchy of conquest and resentment.

          The world is a complex place. The human family is especially complex, simply because we all have the same needs but not the same resources. When we refuse to cooperate, to share, to provide for the genuine needs of others, we leave the door open for more aggressive means of getting what is needed. There are no easy solutions except to work out ways of giving and taking that consider the good of all. We want others to do that, but we are reluctant to do it ourselves. We think, why should I give up something just so that guy can eat?

          I noticed that some California cities are beginning to provide tiny houses for their homeless population. California has, at last count, almost 130,000 homeless folks living on its streets and in its shelters. That situation is getting worse simply because rents have gone up exponentially in recent years and priced previously housed people out of the market. Do you believe that helping this population does not help the rest of the people who live in California? And of course, California is just one example and not even the largest. Have you ever tried to get a job without a place of residence? Ever gone to a new job without being able to shower and put on clean clothes? When we help people help themselves, everyone benefits.

          So, I ask you—when should the soft skills of empathy, cooperation, and consideration for the greater good be taught? By whom, and where? Who will benefit from learning them? How would our culture change if these skills were explicitly taught to every child born in America? It’s worth thinking about.

                                                  In the Spirit,

                                                  Jane

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