Monday, March 15, 2021

Control Freak Here

 

Surrender

“I am intrigued with the idea of surrender, not as defeat or loss, as it is frequently thought of, but as a positive, intuitive way of living, a power that grows as you develop trust in the moment as well as in change and the unknown. Contrary to common stereotypes that equate surrender with weakness, I’m presenting it as a way to gain mastery of your life, not to give up power.”

Judith Orloff, MD (The Ecstasy of Surrender: 12 Surprising Ways Letting Go Can Empower Your Life)

          When I think about how much energy I expended in the first half of my life worrying about my failures, trying to control other people and their problems, and attempting to force life to go the way I wanted, well…it just makes me sad. I would love to have that time and energy back to put into something productive.

          The basic truth is that we control very little in our own lives and nothing at all in other people’s lives—even our children’s. In other words, we put time and energy into things we have no control over, and often, by doing so, we make them worse. For each of us, there comes a time to learn the art of surrender.

          I believe that each of us comes into a lifetime with a major, overarching, task to accomplish. I am here to learn trust—to trust myself, to trust other people, and to trust the Universe to guide me—but for that to happen, I must surrender. I have learned to do that through my art—both fabric art and writing. When I try to think my way through any creation, I fall flat—my art is dull, my writing, boring, dry and banal.

          The teacher in my writing group asked me last week if I make an outline before I begin a story. This may be a good idea, it might even improve my writing, but it simply isn’t possible for me. Other people in the class outline their story and then follow the outline as they are composing. I sit with my hands on the keyboard, or with a bin of fabric in front of me and wait to be shown what comes next. If I’m lucky, a dream or an image will hint at what I’m to do or show me a possible way of doing it. But if I try to think it…well, trust me, it’s nothing you want to see. An outline would suggest that I have a plan, that I know what I’m doing, and nothing could be further from the truth.

          It’s a good idea from time to time, to take a look at your life and ask questions. What is the vampire in my life that is draining all my energy? That may also be a “who” question. Most of us are overextended, anxious about it, and at the sane time, do not want to give up doing what we are doing. It’s a paradox, I suppose, to both love and hate one’s lifestyle choices. The bottom line, it may take a major health event to convince us to do whatever is necessary to protect our own health. No one wants to have a heart attack or stroke, but if you are overtaxing your body’s ability to take care of you, who knows what may happen. It might be time to ask yourself, “Why am I doing this?” Don’t accept “Just because.” as an answer, no matter what.

          Surrender to what is true, let go of control, trust life to guide you, slow down and just say “No, thank you,” to the forces that suck your energy. You are not in control of this ship, and the One who is does not need your help.

                                                  In the Spirit,

                                                  Jane

No comments: