Friday, January 22, 2021

Don't let frustration steal your serenity.

 

Simple Solutions

“I don’t know how to create serenity out of thin air, so if you could send some my way that I accept, not what’s happening, but accept that I cannot change what’s happening, that might help, Lord.”

Nadia Bolz-Weber (Sunday Prayers 3/6)

          I wonder whether everyone else is holding their breath as much as I am. It’s as though my body has been on full-throttle-alert for so long that it doesn’t know how to relax. I want so much for everything to be okay, to be peaceful, that I am hyper-vigilant to make sure that it is—which just means I’m stressed out no matter what. This whole four-year nightmare, that culminated in the storming of the Capital and the establishment of a fortified “green zone” around the seat of our democracy has gripped me with paranoia. Layered on top of that is the pandemic which has worsened in my area, with hospitals stuffed full of folks sick with Covid-19. I keep trying to create serenity “out of thin air” but so far, I have not succeeded.

          I wonder whether you are feeling this way, too. It shows up in how short-tempered I am. I’m irritable and snappy. I’m cursing more, smiling less. I find the zoom meetings almost unbearable, not because there is anything wrong with them, but because I am tired of communicating with other human beings on a screen. And I resent having to take care of problems by texting and emailing rather than being able to pick up a phone and ask some friendly person for help. My head space is full of thunder.

          So, here’s what I will do to try and help myself get past this irritability. I will seek out simple solutions. The camera is dead on my laptop, and I have spent all week on-line and on the phone with remote service persons trying to fix the problem. When one is as computer ignorant as I am, even trying to follow their instructions is maddening. So, I will unilaterally declare this officially over and maybe even buy an external camera. A week of my life is sufficient for such a problem. This is a “choose your battles” approach to problem solving. It represents surrender, and I am fine with that.

          Then I will do something I enjoy—take a walk, bake some cookies, prepare a canvas. I will listen to music, maybe even dance a little. In other words, when I cannot find solutions to my problems, I still have the option of finding serenity in routine. I will close my eyes, say a prayer, and meditate on my breath. Nothing in this whole world is worth sacrificing another precious minute to anger and frustration—least of all technology.

          Thanks for letting me process. I suspect many of you are experiencing something comparable, so take comfort in knowing that you are not alone. We have made it through one whole year of house confinement, and we will make it until the vaccines are dispensed. It’s not comfortable, but it’s doable because we are resourceful people. I’ll pray for you and you can pray for me, and together, we will prevail.

                                                  In the Spirit,

                                                  Jane

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