Children
“There
are only two lasting bequests we can hope to give our children. One
of these is roots, the other, wings.”
Johann
Wolfgang von Goethe
My
friend, Isie, and I had lunch one day this week, and as always, we
talked about our children—their trials and accomplishments, their
efforts toward adulthood and independence. One thing is definite;
rearing children well is the most difficult, challenging and
rewarding job anyone undertakes. We parents come to the task with our
own baggage and flaws, yet hope to somehow spare our offspring the
consequences. We make enormous sacrifices, and go to great lengths to
protect them from making the same mistakes we did, only to watch them
make their own. We take responsibility for their successes and
failures as though we had personally programmed them to happen.
Truth
is, we are simply human beings on our own journey of development, and
so are our children. Just as our parents were individual persons
before they gave birth to us, our children are as well. Each of us
has our own path to walk, our own trail to strike, separate and
independent of one another. In the words of Kahlil Gibran, “Your
children are not your children. They are the sons and daughters of
Life's longing for itself. They come through you, but not from you.
And though they are with you, yet they belong not to you.”
The
very best any parent can do is to be a loving role model. When we live
a full and satisfying life, when we meet our own challenges with
authenticity and courage, we give our children both the roots and the wings to do the same.
In
the Spirit,
Jane
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