Thursday, May 23, 2013

Sitting Meditation Trials and Tribulation

Mind Games

The manifestations of mind outnumber the myriads of dust-motes in the infinite rays of sunlight.”
                 Milarepa (The Hundred Thousand Songs of Milarepa)

I am trying a new strategy with regard to writing this blog. I am trying to sit in meditation for ten minutes before I begin. Since I rarely come to the table with an idea about what to write, and since my altar is right beside my work table, I figure why not multitask, right? The minute I close my eyes, my mind begins to race. Thoughts tumble in on one another without any semblance of order. It's like someone inside my head has shouted "fire!" in a crowded theater. Chaos!

But if I sit firm and return to my breath often enough, eventually everyone settles down and gets back in their seats. Then I can experience the quiet mind as Ram Dass describes it: “In this inner stillness and clarity you are fully aware of the entire gestalt, the whole picture. With no effort, your response is optimal on all levels, not just mechanically reactive on one.” (Journey of Awakening) In fact, I seem to type better and with fewer mistakes if I close my eyes to write.

Since we started the spirituality group at church, which begins with meditation, I have found it easier to sit quietly and breathe. Proof that practice does help. But it requires a certain amount of trust in the process. If I go into it thinking 'this isn't going to work' then it doesn't. If I go into it thinking, 'let's see what's here' then I am much more likely to have an experience of quiet mind. I have found that most new undertakings require a good deal of trust, haven't you?

I know all the advantages of meditating—lower heart rate, better cognitive processing, less anger and upset, better coping skills, to name just a few—and still I manage to come up with excuses and distractions that keep me from it. The mind, at least the new part of the mind, likes to be busy. It's so proud of its thinking capabilities that it wants to see just how many thoughts it can generate in any given minute. Most of them aren't worth a plug nickle. I won't be any worse off for missing out on them for ten minutes--or a day.

I hope you have more noble thoughts than I. I'd love to hear about your attempts to meditate, and what helped you break through monkey-mind.

                                                   In the spirit,

                                                       Jane

1 comment:

Charles Kinnaird said...

Years ago I started a sitting meditation practice that was a combination of the eastern practice of “watching my breath” and praying the rosary. With the rosary, I kept it strictly on the aves and the Our Fathers . I didn’t do the whole Joyful Mysteries, Sorrowful Mysteries rigmarole – I considered that to be too cognitive not conducive to quieting the mind. Just recently I heard Richard Rohr affirm what I was instinctively practicing, saying that the rosary originally had the potential for a meditative practice but then became encumbered with the Joyful Mysteries, Sorrowful Mysteries, Glorious Mysteries (and now the Luminous Mysteries added my Pope John Paul II). I found the Rosary, without the Mysteries, was a great meditative tool.

Just this week I have been attempting to cleanse the meditative palate by listening to Jack Kornfield’s guided meditations on CD. Kornfield is an American Buddhist writer whom I highly regard (loved his book, A Path with Heart). I am finding my beginning steps with Kornfield to be very beneficial.