Orthodox
Generosity
“To
be a Christian in a generously orthodox way is not to claim to have the truth
captured, stuffed, and mounted on the wall.”
Brian
McLaren
Someone
asked me this week why I left the church. The only answer I could come up with
was, “It was just time for me to go.” It doesn’t mean that I’m not a Christian and
does not indicate a lack of belief in God, or a rejection of the life of Jesus.
But sometimes, when we listen to our inner guidance, we know that to grow, and mature
spiritually or otherwise, we must let go of one thing to take hold of another.
Some of
us are “joiners.” We like to be part of an organized group—a business, a neighborhood,
a fraternity or sorority, a church/synagogue/temple community. We are happiest
when we are with other people functioning as a part of a larger whole. For
instance, I belong to a gym that is a training facility for Olympic and Paralympic
athletes. It also offers membership to people who are older and have mobility
problems, whose insurance covers their membership fees. There are yoga classes,
water aerobics, water volleyball, Zumba and lots of other classes and activity groups,
along with multiple wheelchair sports. Most people who go there have joined one
of those groups or classes. But some of us just go quietly to the gym or the
fieldhouse and do our thing without even having a conversation with others. We are
the “non-joiners” who are usually introverts who prefer to listen to music or a
podcast while we work out.
Some of
us are married for decades—we marry young and stay married until one of us dies.
My parents were married for 54 years. And some of us, prefer life solo. We may
marry young, raise a family, and then go our separate ways. Some of us cannot
wait to get into another relationship after divorce or death of a spouse, and
we actively seek out partners through friends and dating sites. And some of us use
the time and energy that relationships require to build a life of our own that
is solitary and allows us to focus on what matters to us. The first half of
life and the second half may look the same or drastically different according to
our choices.
There
are all kinds of ways to do life—and none of them is perfect. By the same
token, we cannot use the yardstick of our own choices to measure the “normalcy”
of others. The fact that someone is single does not mean they are in some way
damaged or deranged. And the fact that someone marries and stays married for a
lifetime, does not necessarily mean they are happy and fulfilled. There is no
perfect life. Doing what suits your nature, what brings meaning to your days
and frees you from the tyranny of “should” and “ought,” is the way to go.
Sacrifices
will be made no matter which choices you make. Adopting a generous orthodoxy of
“live and let live” will help everyone claim their best life. Likewise, being a
church member or not being a church member, does not indicate the state of your
soul, or your relationship to the Divine, which is a purely personal matter,
that only you can know for sure. Hanging crosses on your wall or having icons
of the blessed virgin on your bookshelves does not make you a God-fearing
Christian. That is determined by the state of your heart and whether you choose
to live the life you are called to live. Be true to yourself and honor the sacred
guidance that comes from within, and you will fulfill your purpose here. Fire
in the belly is still the best signal to look for in how and with whom you spend
your days. When you feel it, just know that you, like Moses, are standing on holy
ground.
In
the Spirit,
Jane
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