Kiss the Ground

 

Final Words

“To lie with my back flat on the fragrant ground is to receive a transfusion of the same power that makes the green blade rise. To remember that I am dirt and to dirt I shall return is to be given my life back again if only for one present moment at a time.”

Barbara Brown Taylor (Leaving Church)

          Every time I witness the death of a person of significance in my life, I have the urge to run outside, kneel down, and kiss the ground. I am so grateful to have another day of life. I recommit myself to living in gratitude and in the present moment—even though I know I will fail, and fall, and make mistakes, just as I always have. Which one of us does not love life enough to put up with all its heartaches and betrayals?

          Before I move on to another subject entirely, I want to write about one more thing that constellated around the time of Andy’s hospitalization and impending death: the question of whether or not he would go to heaven. Now, I must tell you, my ideas about heaven and hell are not traditional in any way, so bear with me. Twice it was suggested to me that Andy was not “saved,” and therefore would spend all of eternity in hell. I do not believe that—period. Andy was a good-hearted and generous man who lived his life by his own lights and died fully conscious. He grew up in the Christian church, Lutheran, I believe, and he loved church music, but he did not belong to or attend church as an adult. His life, however, was spent giving to others—from setting up college funds for all his grandchildren, to doing tax returns for droves of people for free every year, to officiating kids soccer games until his knees simply couldn’t do it. He gave to a raft of charities and made loans to anyone who asked, and to some who didn’t. He made micro-loans to people in foreign countries, and especially supported women’s creative projects, including my own. He cared about the earth, and about the arts, and about his friends and family. So, I ask you, what part of that life would relegate him to eternity in hell?

          Barbara Brown Taylor, my favorite theologian, had this to say about being “saved.” “The problem is that many of the people in need of saving are in churches, and at least part of what they need saving from is the idea that God sees the world the same way they do.” As a person of faith, I can say this, my friend, Andy was a good man, and if his soul is bound for hell, mine is too. And that’s okay with me.

I was told that my insistence on Andy’s safety with the heavenly powers that be is a heretical belief and flies in the face of scriptures. So be it. But I am not alone. Here’s another quote from Rev. Taylor on this subject: “Once you give up knowing who is right, it is easy to see neighbors everywhere.” (from Holy Envy) As long as we judge one another based upon our own narrow view of the Creator, we will have a hard time finding neighbors anywhere. And what a sad life that would be. Andy had it right—live a good life, care about everybody, even people you don’t know, and be true to yourself. Then let the chips fall where they may. That’s a theology I can get behind.

                                        In the Spirit,

                                        Jane