Take a Break

Lighthouse People

“Lighthouses don't go running all over an island looking for boats to save; they just stand there shining.”

Anne Lamott

I had a conversation with a friend over the weekend about the children she sees for counseling. Many of these children have been removed from their families because of drug use on the part of the parents; collateral damage of the addiction crisis gripping America. Certainly, children bear the brunt of their parent's addiction on many levels; it shows up most often as anxiety and developmental delays. Research being reported on this population shows that long-term exposure to stress and neglect affects brain development in young children, causing significant delays. The therapists and social workers assigned to these children end up with a kind of PTSD from trying to find solutions for problems that are simply overwhelming.

Many people work in fields that cause them pain and anguish. I think of our first responders—police and fire, EMT's and trauma teams all over the world. I think of the medical teams in the Congo trying to stop the spread of Ebola, and the rescuers in the Mediterranean pulling the bodies of fleeing refugees out of the water. Every single day, they strive to cope with the unimaginable, and most of the time they operate with aplomb. But there's a cumulative effect of exposure to so much suffering. Insomnia, chronic fatigue, waking up in the morning dreading the day ahead. Such work takes as much of a toll on the human beings who are there to help as it does on those who are living through it. People go into these professions because they want to serve others, but sometimes the choice needs to be about helping themselves. We can get to the point of believing that we are somehow indispensable. We wear ourselves out trying to save people without realizing that it is we who need saving. Sometimes the very best choice we can make is to step away and give ourselves time to heal.

You don't have to be a lighthouse that runs around looking for people to save. You can just stand there and shine. By doing so, you will light your own way and help others to light theirs.

                                                          In the Spirit,

                                                              Jane