Changing Pelts

Journey to the Soul

“In early life, the ego, with its appetites, often leads; it is always cooking something up that smells really good. The ego is very muscular during this time. It relegates the soul to the back porch kitchen...But at some point...most often in our forties...we begin at last to let the soul lead. Power shifts away from brick-abrack and frickfrack to soulfulness.”

Clarissa Pinkola Estes (Women Who Run With the Wolves)

All of us are a mystical combination of psychic characters. Depending upon where you are in life, one character is usually dominant. The ego is the one most recognizable, though most people are speaking of egotism when they use that word. The two are not necessarily the same. The ego is the structure in the psyche we associate with 'I'. I am a woman, a teacher, a mother...and so forth. The ego shows up in our dreams as us. In the first half of life, most of our psychic energy goes into constructing a strong ego; one that is clearly identified as 'me'.

We go to great lengths as adolescents to separate ourselves from our parents and siblings and to make ourselves seem to be more than we are—that's the egotism piece. Ego is that part of us that feels indomitable, capable, fearless. As Clarissa Estes says, it is 'muscular' during our youth.

 Then somewhere during the childbearing years, we begin to shift away from ego as leader. Parenting children, indeed all adult responsibility, is difficult and fraught with mistakes and missteps. We learn some hard lessons that let us know we are not quite as impressive as we thought. Ego looses some of its shine. Sometimes we try to get that sparkle back by changing spouses, jobs, or whatever else we believe is bringing us down. Sometimes that works for a while; usually, not.

Thankfully, for most of us, by our forties or fifties, we have made most of the stupid mistakes alloted to humans and the ego is a sober and serious dude, chastened and far more realistic. The shine is gone, but she is much more substantial and pragmatic. That is the beginning of soulfulness. We shift away from infatuation with the glamor of the external world, and the external us, and move toward the soft light of the inner world of spirit. Estes describes this as 'changing pelts'; changing one skin for another. 

These passages, when allowed to move in a natural progression, lead to a feeling of peace and satisfaction with life. People who make the journey, rather than clinging determinedly to their 'very muscular' past, look back across the span of their lives and feel good about where they've been and who they've become. It's a journey worth taking.

In the spirit,

Jane