It’s
in the Asking
“Ask
intensely, like a straight line engraved toward the objects you want; pray with
desire, as though you interrogated your own soul about its deepest, most hidden
languages, and you will receive expansively, not only what your desire asked, but
where elemental breath led you—love’s doorstep, the place where you bear fruit
and become part of the universe’s power of generation and sympathy.”
Neil
Douglas-Klotz (recorded in Wisdom Circles, p.51; C. Garfield, C. Spring & S.
Cahill, Highperion,1998)
I’m a great believer in
prayer—not because I’ve been given everything I’ve asked for, but because I
feel connected to the source and to my own soul when I pray. Sometimes there
are no words for what we feel, they are too deep and too terrible, so just the
feeling itself is the prayer. I believe we are connected to the source and to
everything in creation all the time—prayer is simply a moment of attention and acknowledgement
of that connection.
Sometimes,
we don’t know what to pray for because we can’t look into the future and see which prayer request would generate the best outcome—the Creator’s ways are not our
ways, after all. I can only speak for myself, but I want what I want and sometimes
it’s selfish, or self-serving. Those prayers are like Kleenex—you want to toss
them away after using them. We can’t help being selfish when we want something badly,
but don’t expect the Source to get on board. Real prayer is deeper than your
personality; deeper than whatever your ego wants. Those requests stay with you,
they don’t go up. Real prayer is sometimes buried so deeply inside that all you
can do is breathe it. Don’t worry if you can’t articulate—God knows your heart.
According
to Douglas-Klotz, “the essential wisdom of ‘ask and you shall receive…’ lies
in the asking.” Yet, even before the asking, connecting with our deepest
desires may be problematic. Do we even know what they are? Or do we mumble
desires of the moment, and mutter about the small stuff? Sometimes, I see a
person on the street who looks like they need help, like life has tossed them
on the curb and walked away. I say a prayer for them—short, sweet, “God, please
bless that sad man today. He looks like he could use some help.” It comforts
me, at least. I stop short of asking “What can I do to make his life better?” I’m
afraid of what I might be told.
Even though
our prayers are flawed, we acknowledge that we are surrounded by angels, and
that others are too. We admit that we are often clueless, and incompetent to
serve the world, but we can give a little burst of energy to whoever stands
before us. By praying, we can fill ourselves with positive thoughts to offset
the negativity swirling around us. Even when we don’t know what to pray for, we
can hold people in our hearts and surround them with that energy. We can carry
them to love’s doorstep and leave them in God’s care. Sometimes that’s enough.
In
the Spirit,
Jane
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