Life
Happens
“Life
is a dance between making it happen and letting it happen.”
Arianna
Huffington
I have
an eight o’clock appointment for pre-operation assessment this morning. To say
I am ambivalent is as weak as “puppy water.” For two years I have been trying
to manage the pain in a knee that is simply worn out. My orthopedic surgeon,
being a true, good-old southern boy, told me, “The only things that get better
with time are dogs and whiskey.” I suspect he knows a lot about both. He also
knows a lot about knees, and his observation about mine was, “It looked bad
last year, and it looks worse now.” So, here we go.
My
friend Rebecca gave me a tinned Prosperity Candle for Christmas—Mediterranean Fig,
soy and handmade—with the inscription you see above from Arianna Huffington on
the label. Rebecca knows me well. As a devoted co-dependent, I try to always be
in control, to make things happen the way I want them to. It’s hard for me to
let go and let God. But this knee I can’t control, so I must allow others to
take me in hand, put me out and fix it. Makes me sweat just writing that
sentence.
Life
is, in fact, a dance. Sometimes you lead, sometimes you follow, and, if you’re
like me, you frequently get the steps wrong. I once dated a man who loved “square
dancing,” but not the kind I’d learned as a kid in school—the do-si-do, swing
your partner kind. This was mapped out on a grid like a tax ledger, and your
clothing and boots were prescribed by the group. I took one look at that and
knew it was a leaning curve to steep for me. It’s good to know when to say yes
and when to walk away. I walked.
It’s
also good to dance. Even if you don’t know the steps, just move to the music,
and see what happens inside your head. In the words of Rainer Maria Rilke, “Let
everything happen to you. Beauty and terror. Just keep going. No feeling is
final.” Truth is, none of us knows what tomorrow brings, so why not dance
our way there. It beats hobbling, believe me.
In
the Spirit,
Jane
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