Saturday, December 18, 2021

Skills Training:

 

Name Your Demons

“When the demons become unmasked, you may feel you are going mad or doing something wrong, but in fact you have finally begun to face the forces that keep you from living in a loving and fully conscious way. We face these forces over and over. We will probably work with anger a thousand times in practice before we come to a balanced, mindful way of living. This is natural.”

Jack Kornfield (A Path with Heart, p.91; Bantam Books, 1993)

          Kornfield’s classic book on meditation practice is subtitled, A Guide Through the Promises and Perils of Spiritual Life. In it, he teaches the impediments to spiritual practice and how to work with them. Chapter 7 is titled, Naming the Demons and step by step, he does just that: Grasping and Wanting, Fear, Boredom, Judgment, Sleepiness, Restlessness, Doubt. Each one covers a lot of ground, especially fear which can manifest as almost everything from rage to obsequiousness. Most of us, especially we co-dependent worriers, have a favorite way to manifest fear. Mine happens to be judging, since I grew up in a family who taught me the ins and outs of that particular mindset. I’m a master judger.

          Kornfield says that in original cultures, shamans taught people to name their demons as the first step toward having a modicum of power over them. Most spiritual practices, including meditation and some forms of depth psychology, are all about naming, understanding, and incorporating our demons. (I prefer to call them dragons since mine breath fire. Perhaps yours do, too.) For one thing, until you recognize them as belonging to you, you will only see them in other people. Projection is like whacking a tennis ball hard against a brick wall—it always comes back to smack you in the mouth. But if you can summon up the courage to allow your demons/dragons to rise into consciousness, then you have a pretty good chance of figuring out who they are, where they came from, and what they have to teach you. Because their purpose is to teach you, believe it or not. It’s not to scare you to death.

          I’m bringing this up now because this is a time of year when our demons are particularly restless. When the traffic is horrible, half of what’s on your shopping list is not in stock, and two thirds of your fellow shoppers are not wearing masks, the demons WILL come out to play. And then there are the snarls at the airports and the flight delays and by the time you get where you’re going, you’re exhausted and more than a little withered and grumpy. Oh, yeah, demons—it’s a given. And don’t even get me started on all the cooking and cleaning up and….breathe, just breathe.

          William Blake said, “Those who enter the gates of heaven are not beings who have no passions or who have curbed the passions, but those who have cultivated an understanding of them.”  (A Path with Heart, p. 86) That should provide a little comfort for those of us hoping to make it to the pearly gates. Purity is not a requirement for entering.

          So, if we want to name and claim our demons, and to begin the hard work of incorporating them, we must be patient with ourselves. There is no such thing as perfection; we take three steps forward and two back, and we’re grateful for that one step we didn’t lose. It’s Christmas time—hone your skills, children! Name those dragons!

                                                            In the Spirit,

                                                            Jane

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