Stay
Home
“There’s
just no way around this. Even when life sorts itself out and starts to work and
we revel in what is working, the cosmic banana peel awaits.”
Anne
Lamott (Almost Everything: Notes on Hope, p.61, Riverhead Books, 2018)
We are
now in the month of Christmas, during which, even in a typical year, madness
overtakes humanity, and in this year of pandemic, we are doubled dipping into
crazy. Thanksgiving travel has brought about the biggest spike so far in Covid-19
cases and hospitalizations. People are getting sick and dying, but it still
does not seem real enough for some of us to stay home. Either we live in a
magical bubble that keeps all the bad juju away from us, or we are just plain
dense.
Maybe
this will help: Ram Dass said that “if you think you’re enlightened, go
spend a week with your family.” It’s so bizarre that we cling to traditions
when every single year, we travel back to our roots with our romantic fantasy of the perfect
family, “over the river and through the woods,” and then spend the
entire time we’re there either fighting or sulking or not speaking. Wouldn’t it
be nice to spend that down time at home with people you love? Not that you don’t
love your family, but the family energy field that constellates when we all
gather is simply too strong to resist. All the old childhood wounds and competitions
appear, and we are off to the dysfunctional races again. It’s okay to take a
year off. Especially in a pandemic that will only worsen if people travel.
The key
to getting through the holidays this year is to enjoy the things you can—the little
things, the individual moments. As Thoreau said, “suck out the marrow,” of
the precious moments that delight. For instance, as I sat here at my desk
writing, I looked up and outside my window was a gorgeous, pink-streaked
sky. A lovely sunrise on a brand-new day. If we miss these little moments of grace
simply because we are fretting about all the things we cannot do this
Christmas, we will truly miss the whole point of the season—which is Joy!
My
family, like many others, had a zoom visit at Thanksgiving. It was delightful.
Some of us were cooking and there were little children and old folks like me. Some
recovering from surgery, some changing jobs, some on furlough and one waiting
to be transferred from one Air Force base to another—from Alaska to Hawaii! We
talked and visited for two hours and then we each went our separate ways. It
was wonderful to see everyone, and still not risk getting sick or making them
sick. Think about that—do you love your family enough to not risk making them
sick? I know you do.
According
to Anne Lamott, we must learn to “savor what works when things are sort of
harmonious. You almost stubbed your toe, but you didn’t.” I feel this
gratitude when I almost trip and fall but catch myself just in time. Grab those
little moments of grace, and breathe them in. Give thanks. Feel joy! Stay home!
In
the Spirit,
Jane
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