Thursday, December 3, 2020

Christmas Wisdom

 

Stay Home

“There’s just no way around this. Even when life sorts itself out and starts to work and we revel in what is working, the cosmic banana peel awaits.”

Anne Lamott (Almost Everything: Notes on Hope, p.61, Riverhead Books, 2018)

          We are now in the month of Christmas, during which, even in a typical year, madness overtakes humanity, and in this year of pandemic, we are doubled dipping into crazy. Thanksgiving travel has brought about the biggest spike so far in Covid-19 cases and hospitalizations. People are getting sick and dying, but it still does not seem real enough for some of us to stay home. Either we live in a magical bubble that keeps all the bad juju away from us, or we are just plain dense.

          Maybe this will help: Ram Dass said that “if you think you’re enlightened, go spend a week with your family.” It’s so bizarre that we cling to traditions when every single year, we travel back to our roots with our romantic fantasy of the perfect family, “over the river and through the woods,” and then spend the entire time we’re there either fighting or sulking or not speaking. Wouldn’t it be nice to spend that down time at home with people you love? Not that you don’t love your family, but the family energy field that constellates when we all gather is simply too strong to resist. All the old childhood wounds and competitions appear, and we are off to the dysfunctional races again. It’s okay to take a year off. Especially in a pandemic that will only worsen if people travel.

          The key to getting through the holidays this year is to enjoy the things you can—the little things, the individual moments. As Thoreau said, “suck out the marrow,” of the precious moments that delight. For instance, as I sat here at my desk writing, I looked up and outside my window was a gorgeous, pink-streaked sky. A lovely sunrise on a brand-new day. If we miss these little moments of grace simply because we are fretting about all the things we cannot do this Christmas, we will truly miss the whole point of the season—which is Joy!

          My family, like many others, had a zoom visit at Thanksgiving. It was delightful. Some of us were cooking and there were little children and old folks like me. Some recovering from surgery, some changing jobs, some on furlough and one waiting to be transferred from one Air Force base to another—from Alaska to Hawaii! We talked and visited for two hours and then we each went our separate ways. It was wonderful to see everyone, and still not risk getting sick or making them sick. Think about that—do you love your family enough to not risk making them sick? I know you do.

          According to Anne Lamott, we must learn to “savor what works when things are sort of harmonious. You almost stubbed your toe, but you didn’t.” I feel this gratitude when I almost trip and fall but catch myself just in time. Grab those little moments of grace, and breathe them in. Give thanks. Feel joy! Stay home!

                                                  In the Spirit,

                                                  Jane

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