Bud
or Blossom?
“And the
day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than
the risk it took to blossom.”
Anais Nin
Anais Nin wrote, “Life
expands or shrinks in proportion to our courage.” How right she
was. How many of us limit ourselves because we are afraid of
something—afraid of being humiliated, afraid of looking goofy or
just different, afraid of being rejected by someone. We allow the
expectations of our clan and our culture to dictate how we will be,
who we will be. We may as well live in a straitjacket. Taking risks
is not easy, but unless we do, we will forever remain tight in the
bud. And, as you know, buds shrivel and turn brown when they aren't
allowed to blossom.
For most of us, there's a
turning point in our lives when we say to ourselves, “I can't do
this anymore.” Usually, it's round about mid-life. All the parts of
ourselves we've held tight in our fists become unbearable. All the
parts we've not expressed push at the gates of our psyche like
starving people sensing a passage to freedom. Unfortunately, we
typically have to blame other people for our distress—speaking for
myself, of course. We spend half our life holding back to please
someone, to fit in to a particular group or family, so they must be
to blame for our unlived life, right? Nope. We can spend time and
energy blaming our parents, our spouse, our children, our job, or the
expectations of society, but the choices we make belong to us. And,
it is also our choice as to whether we continue to clamp down on the
dreams and desires we've put in cold storage, or bring them out and
see what possibilities they hold.
It's risky, for sure. And
sometimes painful—like scraping a scab off an unhealed wound. We
may crash and burn. We may have to forfeit a few things, a few
people. It's never easy for everyone to make the same leap at the
same time. Sometimes negotiations are possible; sometimes, not. Once
again, we have to choose—will we express our full potential, or
will we stay in the bud forever? Will life open up, or shrink? It
takes courage, and love, and compassion—for oneself, and for
everyone else who has to adjust to our change. Not blame of self and
others, not recrimination, but compassion. It's even possible—who
knows—that our courage, our willingness to take risks, will open
the door for others to blossom as well.
In the Spirit,
Jane
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