Notes from the Earth School

We're Here To Learn

“...Oh let us embrace

the unexpected moment of unity

as the atom of God.

Let us have the courage

to hold each other when we break,

and worship what unfolds.

Oh nameless Spirit that is not done with us,

let us love without a net

beyond the fear of death

until the speck of peace

we guard so well

becomes the world”

Mark Nepo (excerpt from “Earth Prayer”)

I've been trying to help a family whose little boy is sick and has been in the hospital now for three weeks. Unfortunately, what I do most is lecture them about how they can do this misery of care-giving better and more efficiently. As though there's a right way and a wrong way to watch your precious child suffer. I don't know about you, but I have some personality traits that are absolutely not helpful.

What we do when we are stressed-out is fall back on our compensatory behaviors. In my case, explaining and suggesting even when no one's asked for it. For other's it may be smoking or eating, or hovering over and taking care of everyone else. Such compensatory behaviors reduce our anxiety somewhat, or at least, they give us the illusion of reducing our anxiety. In extreme situations, however, they become obsessive—we feel compelled to do them or something terrible might happen, which is not at all helpful to anyone.

I think this poem by Mark Nepo is such a good one for addressing stress. When something good happens, take time to celebrate it—not in an exaggerated way but in a soothing way. Take each day as it comes without expectations of good or ill. It's kind of like lowering the heat beneath a boiling pot. Let the day simmer, not boil over. Embrace one another without trying to fix one another. There are so many good things that happen, even in situations of distress. We tend to pass over these and not receive the nurturance they offer. Sometimes, just taking note of these comforts helps us not to focus only on the difficulties.

Let us be a safety net for one another, but also for ourselves. We are not Atlas, the Titan king, with the whole world resting on our shoulders. Nor are we Sisyphus, endlessly rolling a giant boulder up a mountain. We are simply human animals who want to help each other, but who don't always know how. The good news is, that nameless Spirit is not done with us yet. We're here to learn.

                                                               In the Spirit,

                                                                 Jane