Face
Your Fears
“The
best way out is always through.”
Robert
Frost
Oh, the things we do to
keep our fears at bay. We run like scalded dogs from emotional pain.
We seem to believe that if we work hard enough, keep ourselves busy enough,
achieve enough success, we will be able to out-run that which assails
us. We drink and take boat-loads of medications to damp-down, and
numb-out. We surround ourselves with “stuff” thinking the right
clothes, the right car, the right house in the right neighborhood,
will take away the pain. Instead of confronting the reality that life
holds great joy, but also terrible pain, we try to plug holes in the
dike, like the Little Dutch Boy in Hans Brinker's tale, to hold back
what feels like a tidal wave of emotion. Some of us do this for
years, for a lifetime. What a waste of time and energy, when all we
need to do is feel what we feel to get through it.
As human beings, we avoid
pain when we can. We learn early and well not to touch a hot stove,
not to stick our fingers in an electrical socket, not to jump off a
ten-foot wall, not to go into dark alleys at midnight, not to drive a
hundred miles an hour on the interstate. Avoidance works well in some
cases. But when it comes to our imagined fears, avoidance becomes a
problem in itself. We tell ourselves scary stories of what could
happen, though there is no foundation for them. We listen to and
absorb all the fears of our culture. We take all that negative energy
into our system and create a toxic environment.
When we begin to deal
with our fears in the moment—to recognize what is real and what is
made-up—we can work through them, also in the moment. We can say to
them, “Yes, I feel you; you are fear, and I honor you as a
protector, but I have to do what I have to do in spite of you.” And
then, we can go even further and ask our fear for help. “I ask that
you help me get through this by giving me the courage to face you and
act anyway.” As with all “boogeymen,” once faced, they become
allies. Fear is not the enemy. Refusal to face it is.
In the Spirit,
Jane
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