Taking
Refuge
“I
didn't know it at the time, but while I was learning to show myself
more generosity and compassion, I was also learning to show the same
to others.”
Sharon
Salzberg (“The North Star: Taking Refuge in One Another,”
On-Being, Writing and Poetry, Feb. 15, 2016)
The idea of taking refuge
in one another appeals to me. Learning to live, not just with
acceptance, but as a kindred spirit with others who are, on the
surface, very different from me is a challenge to be sure. As I've
said before, I have a lot of rough edges. I'm hard on myself and
equally hard on others. Heretofore, I have approached this problem
the wrong way around—I have excoriated myself for being hard on
others, and not always appreciated that the two are connected. What I
am learning to do, or at least trying to practice, is owning my own
humanity. I make mistakes. I also do some things right. I get angry,
and I am also kind. I say insensitive things, and I also know how to
console. All humans have this dual nature—we are both/and, not
either/or.
Knowing this, we can take
refuge in each other. Sharon Salzberg wrote in the article cited
above, “...each of us has the capacity to break through
conditioning, to know boundless love, to have wisdom, and to be
free.” We may take three steps forward and two back, but we are
making progress. Our progress would be faster if we were to help one
another, and help ourselves. We can do that by following to the best
of our ability “the way” that both the Buddha and Jesus spoke
about. The way of both these great spiritual teachers was loving
kindness, forgiveness, compassion. Here are the traditional words to
the loving-kindness, or metta, meditation/prayer. They are said
silently, and begin with blessing oneself.
May I be
free from inner and outer harm.
May I be
safe and protected
May I be
free of mental suffering or distress.
May I be
happy.
May I be
free of physical pain and suffering.
May I be
healthy and strong.
May I be
able to live in this world happily, peacefully, joyfully, with ease.
After saying this
affirmation for oneself, say is for someone you love, and then for
someone who is difficult for you to love, and then for all beings.
Doing this one thing daily, this simple prayer, changes our energy
from negative to positive. It has the capacity to transform us from
within. It allows us to see ourselves and our world through a wider
lens, one in which we are one being among many. We are all just human
beings together, taking refuge in one another. And that's a good
thing.
In the Spirit,
Jane
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