Sunday, December 30, 2018

Conscious Aging


Of Ingenues and Swamp-Witches

Your inside person does not have an age. It is all the ages you have ever been and the age you are at this very moment.”
Anne Lamott (Almost Everything: Notes on Hope, p.123)

A year or so ago, I made a wall-hanging I titled “Life Cycle of the Southern Belle.” It is a triptych with the first panel being the novice, the innocent maiden. She is a paper doll, surrounded by outfits just like real paper dolls, with the little shoulder tabs to hold the clothes on. She's quite green, of course. The center panel is the Belle as we know her; sultry, slinky seductress, what we would now call eye-candy. She is actually wearing a large red day-lily on her head so that you won't miss the point that she is the veritable flower of Southern womanhood—white Southern womanhood, to be sure. And the third panel is a swamp-witch rising out of the body of some poor schmuck she's...well...destroyed. The piece is meant as a joke of course; never-the-less, it comes from lived experience. There exists the eternal maiden, the seductress, and the hag in every woman at every age. And many other characters as well. I think that is why we don't feel as though we change on the inside even as our bodies age.

It is only by degrees that the reality of change sinks in. My particular ah-ha moment came when I tried to reach an errant baking dish in the lower cabinets in my kitchen. I had to get down on my knees and almost crawl inside the cabinet. That part was awkward enough, but it was the getting-up process that was a shock. It took a while—and several iterations were involved. Whereas once I bounced up like a ball, I now had to do a sort of 3-point turn on the vertical. It was ugly. Truly ugly. Once up, I thought of my mother—actually, I thought, I have become my mother! How can that be!

It is an interesting phenomenon, and I think not just a human one. My son's Corgi is about thirteen years old, and will still fly out the dog door or sprint up the stairs. Then you can almost hear her saying, “What was I thinking?” as she hobbles stiffly away. We are eternal inside—we have an eternal soul that never ages, but it does gain wisdom from the experience of living our lives. The wisdom-gaining part is dependent on our level of consciousness. We must develop self-awareness to gain in wisdom. We can live a long, long life, and stay an ingenue, a paper-doll, if we choose. If we are a man, we can play the role of Peter Pan, or worse, Capt. Hook, our whole lives. But if we want to grow up inside, we can appreciate all our parts—our innocence, our juicy sexiness, our swamp-witch—and still have the wisdom of the crone or the old wizard, all at the same time. Life is deep, and rich, and wide, and exciting. Becoming self-aware makes it more so.

                                                        In the Spirit,
                                                           Jane

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