Myth
of Perfection
“Don't
tear up the page and start over when you write a bad line...”
Garrison
Keiller
Part of the myth of
perfection is getting rid of anything that isn't perfect--like tearing up the page because you wrote a bad line. For so many
years of my life, I tried to reinvent myself in the image of other
women. As a teenager I ate nasty stuff like “Weight-On” and went
the Dairy Queen for a banana split everyday trying to put some flesh
on my bones. The boys called me Olive Oil, and teased me
unmercifully. I can relate to kids today who are bullied and shamed
on social media. I dyed my hair, painted my face, and tried to dress
like everyone else. This search for perfection seeped into almost
everything I did, even into adulthood—I never felt good about who I
was, or how I looked, or what my abilities were. I saw only what I
did not have, what I was not. I wonder whether you can relate to
those feelings.
The notion that there is
a “perfection barometer” that measures us is a widespread and
felonious belief. No human being is perfect. Some people are more
beautiful than others, some are more accomplished, some more intelligent, but
even they have their weaknesses. And all the measurements change—when
I was that skinny teen, voluptuous Marilyn Monroe was the standard of
beauty. When I was a young adult, Twiggy stepped into that spotlight.
Small mouth became puffy lips and short spiked hair changed to long
straight. We can never get ahead of the constant change, so
perfection is never achievable. What we can do, however, is figure
out what makes us happy, and do that. Where are we comfortable in our
own skin? That's where we need to be.
The myth of perfection
contaminates our personal lives, our work lives, and every other
facet of our existence. If we think we don't measure up, neither will
anyone else. We will compare them to a mythological standard and find
that they, too, come up short. Our work will never seem good enough.
We will feel anxious and insecure. It's time to take a deep breath,
and lay all that nonsense down. As Bishop John Shelby Spong would
tell you, “Process down to the river and throw it in.” The
only thing that is absolutely perfect is you, exactly as you are.
In the Spirit,
Jane
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