Survivors
“Being a
survivor doesn't mean being strong—it's telling people when you
need a meal, or a ride, company, whatever. It's paying attention to
heart wisdom, feelings, not living a role, but having a unique,
authentic life, having something to contribute, finding time to love
and laugh. All these things are qualities of survivors.”
Bernie
Siegel, MD
A friend of mine enters
hospital today for two weeks of treatment for Multiple Myeloma.
First, he will receive a bolus of chemicals that will kill his bone
marrow, and the next day, a stem cell transplant to regrow healthy
blood cells. The stem cells are his own that were harvested last
week, and before that, he endured a four-month-long trial of
chemotherapy, twice weekly. This is the last leg of his treatment,
and the most difficult. To get through all that, and what is to come,
one must be a survivor.
I agree with Dr. Bernie
Siegel that being a survivor and being a hero are not the same thing.
In the case of cancer, or other life-threatening illness, being able
to ask for help when you need it, being directive about what sort of
help is needed, and simply being real about your illness and its
challenges are essential to survival. Being a survivor requires
endurance rather than heroics.
In the midst of the
trials and tribulations of medical treatment, taking time to
contemplate life and its blessings, to appreciate the people who
support and care, and to simply love being alive is also a critical
part of survival. Expressing this appreciation requires vulnerability
and honesty. Being “strong” does not mean being unafraid; it
means having the courage to express one's feelings without
embarrassment. Anyone who undertakes medical treatment for a
life-threatening illness feels fear, and claiming that allows others
to be honest about their feelings, too.
Look around you today and
understand that everyone you see has overcome some of life's major
challenges, and yet they are here to tell the tale. Courage is quiet
like that. They are not heroes; they are very courageous survivors.
And, so are you.
In the Spirit,
Jane
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