Find Meaning
“If we
hope to live not just from moment to moment, but in true
consciousness of our existence, then our greatest need and most
difficult achievement is to find meaning in our lives.”
Bruno
Bettelheim (The Uses of Enchantment, Introduction)
We humans are a breed
unto ourselves—at least, we believe this to be true. We are not
like most animals, who simply live in the moment, don't anticipate
the future, don't regret the past, aren't self-conscious or concerned
about how they look or whether they are popular. Most animals sort
that out in minutes by establishing a pecking order and an alpha
lineage. On the other hand, many animals do sense danger; deer, horses and
cattle run to higher ground far in advance of a flood or tsunami. And
some animals, especially domestic pets, appear to anticipate
punishment when they have done something they know will upset their
master, like pull all the toilet paper off the roll and shred it. Our
house pets, especially dogs, look forward to and seem to know the
proper timing of their favorite activities—eating, taking a walk,
etc. But only humans want to attach meaning to things. We even try
to parse out the meaning of life itself.
There is a false belief
that finding one's purpose in life is a bolt-of-lightening sort of
event—it comes once and for all. Every age has its own meaning, and
the purpose of one's life changes over time. We know when this change
is happening because we feel disoriented for a while. It's a bit like
finding one's water legs on a moving ship—it takes time and effort.
When we marry, have a child, change careers, move from one location
to another, launch our children into adulthood, watch our parents
die; when we pass from one life stage to another, our purpose changes
and we seek to find new meaning. Writers tell me that when they
finish a book, there is a period of disorientation while they
disconnect from that story and its characters, who have become just
as real to them as flesh and blood people. Finding meaning and
purpose in life at any age is essential for a healthy existence.
According to Bruno Bettelheim, it is what constitutes psychological
maturity.
We expect our children to
know their minds early—certainly by the time they graduate from
high school. Which, when you think about it, is a bit ridiculous.
Adult maturity requires experience and knowledge, and experience
requires time for searching and sampling. Finding one's purpose in life is a bit like building a house—brick by brick, placing one
on top of another, and securing them with concrete before moving on. We
add windows, walls, a roof and paint at their proper time and place. Knowledge is crucial if we are to end up with a whole house, and not
just a pile of bricks and mortar. And, so it is with achieving purpose and
meaning. Consciousness is required. And sometimes, hindsight. It is
work. Many growth experiences are needed to achieve maturity.
Whatever age you are, and
whatever has meaning in your life today, expect it to change. Expect
to go through periods of disequilibrium. If you don't hold hard to
life always being as it is today, you're ahead of the human curve.
If you can look forward to those changes with excitement and genuine
curiosity, even better. Each one is another brick in the amazing
abode of your soul.
In the Spirit,
Jane
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