Change Your Attitude

Change Your Life

“Adopting the right attitude can convert a negative stress into a positive one.”

Hans Selye

Hans Selye was an Hungarian-Canadian endocrinologist, who did pioneering work on our biological response to stress. Along with explaining what goes on in the body when one is confronted with a stressor, let's say a mountain lion, he wrote extensively about the ramifications of various responses. One's immediate response to crossing paths with a mountain lion could be to run, and that would be a mistake. As we know from our house cats, there is nothing more alluring than a fleeing critter. Another response would be to pick up a big rock and hurl it at the lion—assuming that it lands a blow, that might be enough to make it run away. Another possibility might be to stand perfectly still until the cat loses interest and wanders off on its own. These responses are governed by our sympathetic nervous system and are know as Flight/Fight/Freeze. Beyond the immediate physical threat is a purely psychological one, and that is what interested Selye. He looked at how we humans make ourselves sick by amplifying experiences with the way we think about them.

Let's say we have an argument with our significant other just before leaving for work. Angry and resentful, we stew about it all day, snap at our co-workers, who snap back, which raises the level of our tension. We begin to ruminate—“He/she's always been difficult, and I've put up with his/her bad behavior. Now I've spoken my mind he/she will probably leave me, and then what will I do.” Now our stress level is even higher as we imagine the terrible possibilities—divorce, loss of home, poverty, etc. By the time we return home that evening, we're a virtual puddle of anxiety and remorse. We feel wrung out and exhausted. All we ever had to do was call our significant other and apologize. Instead, our attitude toward the event ruined the entire day, and possibly our relationships with our co-workers and our lover.

Maya Angelou said, “If you don't like something, change it. If you can't change it, change your attitude.” Breaking through an ego-response to stress—the need to have the last word, to strike back harder than we have been struck—is something we grapple with every day. At least, I do. Our response to almost everything is completely within our power to change simply by changing our attitude. It requires letting go of our need to be right, and to be righteous, and to show the world who's boss. Changing a superior attitude, becoming kind, accepting people as they are, and the world as it is, will add years to our lives. Our greatest strength is not our fierceness; rather, it is our ability to co-operate. We might even consider an attitude change to be our legitimate “pursuit of happiness.”

                                                       In the Spirit,

                                                          Jane