It's
All About Love
“Love
casts out fear, but we have to get over the fear in order to get
close enough to love them.”
Dorothy
Day
In her On Being interview
with Krista Tippett, Brene Brown said that we are more willing to
inflict pain on one another than we are to feel it in ourselves.
Instead of acknowledging the pain created by the gulf between
opposing camps, whether they be family, political, racial, gender or
class related, we shoot arrows across the divide and do everything in
our power to damage our opponents. Consider the “Me Too”
movement, for example. Such a pervasive problem—people, mostly
women, sexually harassed and abused, fired when they complain, blamed
for the problem. Lives ruined on both sides. He's a liar, she's a
liar—slings and arrows, and the letting of blood. In order to solve
the problem, we must first admit to the harm it's caused, and then
sit down together and find a solution. We must deal with this head-on
because the problem is real, it's been going on forever, and has,
until now, often been considered, if not “normal,” at least
expected. The acceptance of what is truly unacceptable behavior
denigrates both men and women and has caused grave damage to both.
Now is the time to deal before we can heal.
It's hard to own one's
pain in a culture that prides itself on toughness—especially
emotional toughness. Think of how our soldiers with PTSD have been
treated as weak and cowardly. They dare not feel their pain for fear
of being ostracized. But the truth is, anyone in their circumstances
would feel the same. We are, to a large extent, a society enthralled
with guns because of the pain we will not acknowledge. Instead of
feeling hurt and scared, we arm ourselves—the more vulnerable we
feel, the more we hoard weapons. We blame others and label them the
enemy. But, the weapons won't make us safe, only healing within
communities of love will make us safe.
One of the things the
young people of Parkland demonstrated these last two weeks is the
perfect intersection between vulnerability and courage. Through their
tears, they spoke truth to power. They admitted to their pain, and
still spoke for themselves. They stood before microphones, with
parents and friends touching them, and had the strength to say what
they needed to say. It was a beautiful demonstration of bravery. It
is the love they have for each other, and the love their community
has for them, that allows them to do that. It's all about love,
y'all. We need more of it.
In the Spirit,
Jane
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