Listening with Heart

Seeing and Understanding

“Eyes see only light, ears hear only sound, but a listening heart perceives meaning.”

David Steindl-Rast

There is a difference between seeing and perceiving. Perception is the interpretation of information brought in through our five senses. Sometimes perception is based on historical experience; and sometimes it is simply hard-wired into us. We see and we interpret the meaning of what we see. Here's a case in point: I was sitting at lunch in a restaurant over the weekend, when a family came in with three young children—two were twin boys about 18 months old. They ordered food and it came, but the twins were fussy. Finally, one began to wail, and then the other joined him. Instantly, I knew the cry to mean fatigue—not hunger, not illness, just tired. When I checked the time, it was almost two o'clock—nap-time for most babies. I didn't know these children, had never seen them before, but to a mother's ears, cries are distinguishable. We hear and perceive meaning. Does that perception come from having had two babies of my own, or does it come through the DNA of the thousands of women who came before me. This we don't know.

One of the major requirements of a trained listener, is to hear beneath the words—whether they are angry words, sad words, bravado or feigned innocence. To look at the body language, especially the facial expressions, which don't always match the words spoken. Have you ever had a conversation in which the other person was saying all the “right” things, but there was a disconnect between what they said, and what you felt? Somehow, regardless of the words, you perceived dishonesty behind them? To listen with the heart, as Steindl-Rast suggests, we must get out of our own way. Our immediate reactions must be held in abeyance in order for the truth of the other to surface. We must put the emphasis on keeping an open heart, and not on reacting in kind. It's hard to do, especially in the reactive world we live in today. Here is a good question to ask: “Do I want to understand this other being, or do I just want to be right?”

                                                             In the Spirit,

                                                                  Jane