Compassion is...

A Covenant Between Equals

“Compassion is not a relationship between the healer and the wounded. It's a covenant between equals.”

Gregory J. Boyle (Tattoos on the Heart: The Power of Boundless Compassion)

I was just introduced to the writing of Gregory J. Boyle in yesterday's church bulletin. He's a Jesuit priest, who is director of Homeboy Industries in Los Angeles. He writes extensively about how to shift our understanding of compassion. He says, for instance, in Tattoos on the Heart, that compassion is not serving others, it is kinship with them. “Jesus was not 'a man for others'; he was one with them. There's a world of difference in that.” It's a shift in understanding that is difficult for all of us who are most comfortable being aloof—myself included.

I was taught as a child that being kind and generous were “Christian” values. That if we have more, we should give more. But you can hear the distance in that, can't you? I am here, and I am in a position to give to you, who are there. I have worked in service areas my whole life—mostly with people with severe disabilities—but always as one who is “there to serve.” Boyle writes about moving oneself to the outer edges of the circle, rather than standing in the middle and observing those on the edge. Instead of reaching out to them, stand beside them.

This approach to being in the world is both appealing and daunting. We love to serve—and there is a great need for people who are willing to serve—but we also like to be the “server” and not the “servee.” There is absolutely nothing wrong with giving. There was a video on Facebook yesterday about people who use their Amazon accounts to have warm socks and shoes and blankets delivered to people who are living on the streets. It was such a generous thing to do. It might even save lives—but it doesn't change the fact that some people are still living on the streets in America.

I have no solution to this—I know I will continue just as I am—but I do love the way people like Gregory Boyle are pointing to God in the world—not as a deity removed off in “heaven” to whom we must appeal, but one who stands in the midst of us. Here is a quote from Boyle's book, Barking to the Choir: “Ignatius of Loyola invites us to find God in all things. And he means all things. He is right in saying this, for the world is steeped in God, Grace indeed is everywhere. Ignatius discouraged his Jesuits from meditating on lofty, abstract divine truths. Meditate on the world, he instructed them, and all that happens in it, packed shoulder to shoulder with God. We live amidst a universe soaked in grace that invites us to savor it.”

                                                         In the Spirit,

                                                             Jane