Becoming
You
“It is
not from ourselves that we learn to be better than we are.”
Wendell
Berry
Growing up Southern in
the 1950's and 60's gave me a very narrow view of the world. I had a
curious mind, but as a child that curiosity didn't extend outside my
Appalachian homeland. My parents had good hearts, but they were
equally narrow-minded when it came to questions of race, wealth,
poverty, politics, religion and one's place in the world. I had the
great good fortune to marry young and, because America was in the
midst of the Vietnam War, to move from the mountains of North
Carolina to California—I don't know if there's a greater contrast
than that. I was exposed to people from all over the US, there for
the same reason we were—military training. I went to school at
Cal-State, Sacramento in the days of the “flower children” and
LSD trips. For the first time, I encountered ethnic cuisines and
cultural diversity. It is in being exposed to people and places that
stretch the limits of our experience, and challenge our assumptions
that we become different people; and in my world view, better people.
For much of my adult
life, I lamented the fact of marrying so young—nineteen—but, in
retrospect, I can say that had I not, none of the things I now hold
dear would have happened. To be sure, there would have been other
outcomes, but I wouldn't have ended up where I am, or who I am now.
One of the great boons of age is seeing how things shake out based on
the choices we make. What seems good in the moment can turn out to be
horrific, and vice versa. I cried most of the way to California, I
fought moving to New York, and to Birmingham—yet, those moves
shaped me and my interpretation of the world. Now, I wouldn't change
a thing.
I hope you are able to do
what I could not for way too long—see your own life as one great
adventure, full of twists, and turns and back alleys. Be curious
about everything, learn all that you can, allow other people to teach
you all the facets of truth. In doing so, see yourself as clay on a
potter's wheel, malleable and willing to be shaped. Ask a million
questions and allow the answers to soak in. If you are able to do
that, you will become a stable vessel, full of soul, and open to the
Mystery of life itself. There is nothing better.
In the Spirit,
Jane
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