Being
Present
“Holding
the space for another person is incredibly profound.”
Lynn Hauka
(Huffington Post Website)
Learning to hold the
space for another person requires as much training and discipline as
becoming a major athlete. In fact, it's not terribly different except
that it doesn't require bench pressing hundreds of pounds. What it
does require is presence.
Athletic training
typically begins with an early morning routine—running several
miles is common. And then, hours in the gym, developing individual
sets of muscles. It requires keen attention to diet, getting enough
of the right calories to support the exercise and build muscle
instead of fat. One must become body-conscious; must be fully present
in their body, because the result of being distracted is often injury. After that, hours of field training. Specific
skill-building, depending on which sport you play. Learning the
plays, learning the moves, and how to do your job on the team. Day
after day, week after week, a commitment to excellence is required.
Learning to hold the
space for another is quite similar. It necessitates knowing oneself
very well; what are the tripwires that may tip you into
self-consciousness. What are your particular buttons that, when
pushed, will activate your own defenses and prevent you from being
present? What is required for you to be quiet inside, to not be
distracted your own concerns? Practice at staying out of one's own
head is necessary. Holding the space for someone requires you to be
present, body and mind, with that person.
When you can be there,
hold the space, free of distraction, and look someone in the eye with
your complete consciousness, healing happens—for them and for you.
It is the meeting of two souls; it is the powerful experience that
someone else understands, witnesses, and will not run away. It may be
the most potent medicine we humans have at our disposal.
In the Spirit,
Jane
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