Get a Grip
“The
feelings that hurt most, the emotions that sting most, are those that
are absurd—The longing for impossible things, precisely because
they are impossible; nostalgia for what never was; the desire for
what could have been; regret over not being someone else;
dissatisfaction with the world's existence. All these half-tones of
the soul's consciousness create in us a painful landscape, an eternal
sunset of what we are.”
Fernando
Pessoa (1888-1935)
When I first read this
quote, I thought, how dark, how sad, but the next moment I laughed,
because it so captures the human condition. “If only...” is the
mantra of human existence. We invent scenarios of how things should
be, and then we long for them. We imagine that we actually know what
was supposed to happen, what should have happened, and how things
would be now if they had happened. All this angst is the dark side of
the idealism that goes with having gotten something we do want. “Oh,
now, things will go back to the way they were, the way they're
supposed to be,” we say. “Now that this has happened, everything
will work out exactly right.” All of these thoughts, emotions, and
desires neglect one thing—the way things actually are. Think about
how much psychic energy we spend wishing and wanting what is not
reality.
We humans are endlessly
fascinating. Don't you wonder whether lions lie around the savanna thinking, “Aw, man, I wish I were prettier. Maybe I'd be the alpha
lioness, if only I didn't have these fat thighs.” Or, “If only I
could run as fast as Gerald, over there, I'll bet the lionesses would
take notice.” No, they just deal with what is. “Get that lame
wildebeest, so the cubs can eat.” Only humans make up stories
inside their heads and then believe them enough to long, and yearn,
and feel miserable about them.
That's who we are, that's
how we're made. The trick is to keep reality in sight, to realize
that what we're doing is existing inside our heads. At some point,
we have to move beyond wishing and longing for what isn't, and grab
hold of what is. We have to come out of our daze of yearning, and
realize that if we want something, we have to get up on our feet and
work for it. That's practical spirituality, y'all.
In the Spirit,
Jane
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