Facing
Thanksgiving
“Feel
what you feel, know what you know, and set your relatives free to do
the same.”
Melody
Beattie
So, here we are—it's
November 17th, and next Thursday is Thanksgiving in the
U.S. This is a year when many of us are having a bit of difficulty
remembering what we are thankful for. There is so much post-election
acrimony, and free-floating anxiety that we're having a hard time
recovering our equilibrium. And then, there's the business of close
proximity to relatives, some of whom are like sandpaper across our
grain. I'm always in awe of families who get together, and play, and
celebrate, and just have a great time. Where no discord exists, and
all is love and appreciation. The functional families...you do know
some, I'm sure. Maybe not.
Melody Beattie says,
“Relationships are where we take our recovery on the road.” I
would re-shape that to say, “Holidays are when we road test our
sanity.” The big question being, can we stay calm and centered in
the midst of all the family dynamics that made us crazy in the first
place? I confess that one of my many down-falls (coping strategies)
is correcting inaccuracies—that is one major manifestation of
co-dependency. We like to be “right.” We find our self-esteem, in
fact, reinforce our very existence, by being the one with the
“truth.” It is usually unappreciated by 99.9% of other family
members. Better just to smile...and bring a pie.
Beattie's instruction to
feel what you feel, know what you know, and allow other people to be
who they are, is excellent advice. Putting it into practice will
stretch you spiritually and emotionally. So, we have a week to get
our chill on—do our yoga, say our centering mantras, pray,
meditate—whatever it takes to go into the holidays with a peaceful
heart. That would be plenty to be thankful for, don't you think?
In the Spirit,
Jane
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