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Thursday, November 17, 2016

Gird Your Loins

Facing Thanksgiving

Feel what you feel, know what you know, and set your relatives free to do the same.”
Melody Beattie

So, here we are—it's November 17th, and next Thursday is Thanksgiving in the U.S. This is a year when many of us are having a bit of difficulty remembering what we are thankful for. There is so much post-election acrimony, and free-floating anxiety that we're having a hard time recovering our equilibrium. And then, there's the business of close proximity to relatives, some of whom are like sandpaper across our grain. I'm always in awe of families who get together, and play, and celebrate, and just have a great time. Where no discord exists, and all is love and appreciation. The functional families...you do know some, I'm sure. Maybe not.

Melody Beattie says, “Relationships are where we take our recovery on the road.” I would re-shape that to say, “Holidays are when we road test our sanity.” The big question being, can we stay calm and centered in the midst of all the family dynamics that made us crazy in the first place? I confess that one of my many down-falls (coping strategies) is correcting inaccuracies—that is one major manifestation of co-dependency. We like to be “right.” We find our self-esteem, in fact, reinforce our very existence, by being the one with the “truth.” It is usually unappreciated by 99.9% of other family members. Better just to smile...and bring a pie.

Beattie's instruction to feel what you feel, know what you know, and allow other people to be who they are, is excellent advice. Putting it into practice will stretch you spiritually and emotionally. So, we have a week to get our chill on—do our yoga, say our centering mantras, pray, meditate—whatever it takes to go into the holidays with a peaceful heart. That would be plenty to be thankful for, don't you think?

                                                       In the Spirit,

                                                           Jane

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