Of Candles
and Flames
“See
this flame. The candle will burn until it can no longer and then the
flame will be extinguished. But if I pass the flame into another
longer candle, the flame continues to burn. The candles pass with
time, but the flame goes on. The candle flame is always the same
flame, and yet it is always different. The candle is the body. The
flame is [the soul].”
Buddhist
Monk (recounted in The Spiritual Universe by Fred Alan Wolf)
My aunt, Elaine, is
dying. Her flame has burned brightly for 87 years, and no doubt will
continue to burn once it leaves her body. She is at the point right
now of seeing and speaking with those who have already made the
transition. They are no doubt gathered and waiting for her to join
them. I find this process, one I have seen repeatedly with other
members of my family, very comforting. The souls of loved ones come
to comfort and reassure the one who is struggling to leave.
This particular aunt, the
last of my parent's generation, has lived what, in my world view, is
an heroic life. She gave birth to seven babies, only four of whom
survived infancy. Though poor, she summoned the courage to take her
children and leave an abusive marriage. She worked in factories and
laundries to make enough money to raise them. All four turned out to
be successful and decent human beings. “Lane” survived stage four
ovarian cancer in her forties—in the days when cobalt was the only
treatment. She survived crippling depression and life-long poverty.
She was never a proud person except when it came to her children,
grandchildren, great-grandchildren—enough of them, I swear, to fill
a gymnasium. She learned to play video games in her sixties so that
she could entertain all those young'uns, including my own two sons. She could beat all of them at shooting pool. Not surprisingly, she has been in hospice since May 21st,
because her candle refuses to extinguish before it's dog-gone good
and ready. In my view, she's enjoying being taken care of for the
first time in her life; may as well savor it for a while longer. But
now the soul-escort has gathered, so it won't be long. I wish her God
speed.
I love the description
this Buddhist monk gave to children describing the soul as the flame
and the candle as the body. In the Buddhist tradition, the soul
reincarnates into another body. In some traditions, the soul lives
all its lifetimes at once, since the dimension in which the soul
exists is not bound by the constructs of time and space. And of
course, in Christianity, the soul returns to God. Who knows? I don't.
But I do know this—when we make that transition, when our candle
burns out, we are not alone. Those who loved us in this lifetime
are right there cheering us on, holding us by the hand, saying, “Come
on, time's a wasting! We've got things to do!” That, I've seen with
my own eyes.
In the Spirit,
Jane
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