Being Real
“Buddhist
mindfulness is about the present, but I also think it's about being
real. Being awake to everything. Feeling like nothing can hurt you if
you can look it straight on.”
Krista
Tippett
Being real is less common
than you'd think. Being willing to live in your own skin without
judgment, and be present to all that goes on within and around you,
is not the usual way of being in the world these days. We have highly
unrealistic expectations in terms of appearance, for one thing. We're
living longer, and with that comes all the natural effects of living
in an aging body—which is somehow a surprise to us. The longer
life we want, the aging body we don't. In the words of poet Robert
Bly:
“...You
thought your life would look
like your
bedroom mirror when you were ten.
That was a
clear river touched by a mountain wind...”
(“Resemblance
Between Your Life and a Dog”)
Instead, in the US alone,
we spent 12.9 billion dollars on 15.9 million elective aesthetic
plastic surgery procedures in 2015; up 115% from the year 2000. Some
would say that is simply an indicator of a recovering economy, and it
is. It is also an indicator of being uncomfortable with who we
are—not a judgment, simply an observation.
One of the benefits of
being real is that you don't spend so much time worrying about how
you look compared to others. You look how you look, and you look
beyond how you look on the outside, to how life evolves at different ages. You become
aware of your own evolution as you passed from teenage to adult to
middle-aged to older. You have grown into yourself in ways you could
not have predicted. You begin to pay more attention to what's
happening right now, simply because you've seen just about everything
come and go and realize that all things are transient. What is past
is past; what is future is probably something you've seen before, so
why not rest in the present and watch it play out.
Being present is a fine
place to be. It feels solid, grounded, based in reality and not
fantasy, and strangely exciting. There is anticipation rather than
fear about what is to come. Present is where potential lives. It is
undivided by looking back with regret, or looking forward with
anxiety. It's just real. And real is good.
In the Spirit,
Jane
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