It's
Normal
“Spend
your life doing strange things with weird people.”
Unknown
Have you noticed that
strange is the new normal? At least, that's what I thought. But
then, as I've worked on the Old Crazy Town memoir, I've come to understand that weird has always been the norm—we just didn't realize
it. The little North Carolina town where I grew up in the 50's and
60's, from age nine to age eighteen, was a veritable hot-bed of
non-normalcy. And it hasn't changed. In the early two-thousands, I
went back for family medical leave every third school term over four
years while my mother was ill and dying. It was still filled with
weirdness that people took for normal. Recently, I've been talking
in-depth with friends, and collecting their stories and—guess
what—no matter where they came from, they've had the same
experience! It's a small study, but I think the final data are going
to show that people are weird, people have always been weird, and
that is normal. It's a revelation!
I guess what I'm trying
to say is, maybe it's time to stop thinking of what is and what isn't
normal, and just embrace the fact that humans are, by definition, strangely different. We come in enormous variety. You don't see this so much in
the animal kingdom. One blue-jay looks and acts pretty much like every
other blue-jay. You don't see ants painting themselves in rainbow colors. With small variations, one tiger or lion looks and
acts like every other one. Even dogs, while there are various shapes
and sizes and colors, they all sniff and pee and bark. But humans, oh
my gosh, humans do all sorts of weird things, and speak all kinds of different languages, and have all manner of bizarre customs and behaviors. We
are a truly weird species. What was unthinkable ten years ago—purple
hair, black tattoos, and green toenails, for instance—now are not even noticeable.
Last night, at a nearby restaurant, I went into the women's bathroom
and found a nice young man washing his hands at the sink. He said,
“I'm just washing my hands.” and I said, “No problem.” and we
went on about our business. It's new. It's different. It's normal.
I think if we all just
took a deep breath and relaxed, we'd be better able to accept that
there is no static thing called “normal” and everything that
doesn't fit within that narrow definition is “not normal.” Weird
is where we're going, because it's where we've always been. I
remember when it was normal for a man to pat a female colleague's
butt—and not on a basketball court, either. I remember when it was
normal for women to make all their own clothes, and do all the
cooking. How weird is that? Lots of things change, but in the final
analysis, there is very little that is truly unique. We're inhabiting
this brave new world that has always been weird. So relax. It's
normal.
In the Spirit,
Jane
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