Living
Light
“Although
we can not change the past, we can learn from it and build up skills
and useful insights from it. The future is that unknown world of
possibilities and opportunities before us—but all we can truly have
any effect upon is now.”
Evans, Hudson & Tucker (The Peaceful Arts)
Learning from the past is
the only useful thing that can come out of regrets and missed
opportunities. Sounds small, but it is truly huge—and
unfortunately, rare. If you're anything like me, you have regrets
that continue to niggle around your edges years later. That's human,
but it's useless unless you find a way to convert it into new
insights for right now and for the future.
For me, getting beyond
regret and arriving at hope and joy is a process. It begins with
remembering whatever it is that I regret, being able to take
responsibility for the outcome, and admitting to myself that I wish I
had not done it, that it was a mistake. And then, instead of beating
myself up about it, I begin to ask some questions: Are there amends
that I need to make, such as an apology? What did I learn from that
incident? How can I use what I've learned to avoid doing something
like that again? Are there any positive outcomes from the incident?
Character is not an
inherited trait. It is built over years of trial and error. In order
to build character and integrity, it is essential to make mistakes
and learn from them. Some of us make mistakes and don't learn from
them. We humans are creative in our defenses; we can find a million
ways to make someone else responsible for our problems and a million
more ways to deny there even is, or ever was, a problem. We can make
our past seem completely dark, or light as a feather. We're creative
geniuses, but we will make the same mistakes repeatedly if we do not
learn the lesson. We will repeat them in our present, and in our
future. Until we are ready to face our regrets and mistakes, bless
them, and learn from them, we will carry them around like a bag of
rocks.
To live in the present,
to live lightly on the earth, we must put down our bag of rocks,
thank them for the lessons they have taught us, and move on.
In the Spirit,
Jane
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