“One must do everything one can and then say, 'God have mercy!'”
Most of us are just trying to get along. We're trying to get through each day without major catastrophes, and live a settled and peaceful life. But becoming conscious, which is what our souls are here to do, is serious work—on ourselves, on our relationships with other people, and with the world at large. To awaken, we must discover our authentic self and how it fits into the family of humanity, and that is rarely obvious at first glance. So, getting along and going along may not last for long. Life has a way of upsetting our apple-cart, to force us to spend a little time, sometimes, a lot of time, cleaning up the mess.
Cleaning up our messes offers the best opportunity to glean little gems of consciousness. It is in dissecting things that we figure out how they work, including our own motivations and attitudes. Why do we say the things we say—really? It is in my nature to analyze, but I found myself recently picking someone apart—small things that annoy me, little intrusions into their personality and manner. When I catch myself doing that, it is an act of awakening to ask myself, “Why am I picking this person apart?” What is underneath this behavior? Am I jealous, am I cruel, am I trying to gain allegiance with whomever I am speaking to, am I saying the things I think they want to hear? Am I trying to make myself look better than someone else?
As unsettling as that sort of self-examination is, as difficult as it is to own one's role in the messy parts of life, that is the route of consciousness. In the words of George Gurdjieff, “Awakening is possible only for those who seek it and want it, for those who struggle with themselves, and work on themselves...persistently in order to attain it.” Unless we're willing to do our inner work, we will always walk in the nighttime of unawareness, and feel mystified by the things that happen in our lives, and perplexed at our responses to them. Freedom for our souls lies on the path of consciousness. One must do one's work as well as asking God for guidance and mercy.
In the Spirit,