Wednesday, November 11, 2015

The Challenges of Having Adult Children

Motherhood

The special bond between a mother and her children is like a long knotted rope that can never be untangled forever.”
Leonora R. Aquino

My blog is posting late because both my sons were here early for breakfast. Sometimes, I fret about having grown-up sons here at seven o'clock in the morning, panting for omelets and toast. Then I think about all the mothers whose children live in other states, or other countries. They may see them twice a year or less. That's how it was for my own parents. Distance doesn't diminish our connection, but it does sometimes strain our relationships. They may depart from us religiously, politically, and socially, but we remain soul connected.

Motherhood is a special state simply because there was a time when we were completely undifferentiated. We formed a symbiotic pairing with each child we carried in our bellies. Each one began within us, and even when the cord was cut, something of them stayed within us. We feel we know them as no one else can. It's an unbreakable bond, even when out relationships are difficult.

I can't speak for fathers, having never been one, but I suspect their relationships with their children are different. They are more protective with girl-children right into adulthood, and more instructive and competitive with boy-children. It is usually Mom who is the confidant, and Dad who is the mentor—one centered in the heart, one centered in the head—both necessary. No less love, just different relationships.

I know this; no power on Earth could separate me from my sons. I suspect every mother feels this way. Sometimes hard choices are called for; at times, firm boundaries must be drawn, but they are drawn in service to love, and out of respect for the grown men and women who sprung from us. Little do they know they carry our beating hearts around in their pockets.

                                                           In the Spirit,
                                                                Jane




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