Find Yourself or Lose Yourself

Holy Encounter

“When you meet anyone, remember it is a holy encounter. As you see him, you will see yourself. As you treat him, you will treat yourself. As you think of him, you will think of yourself. Never forget this, for in him you will find yourself or lose yourself.”

A Course in Miracles

Nothing is quite so telling of our character as how we think of other people. And not only how we think of them, but how we behave toward them. As mammals, we have brain structures that cause us to be suspicious and vigilant in the presence of “otherness.” We have it within our autonomic nervous system to brace for trouble in the face of the unknown, or to relax and let down our guard in comfortable territory. The sympathetic and parasympathetic nervous systems kick in automatically because they're deeper down in the brain, and much older than our thinking, or reasoning centers.

I watch Liza, my little dog, when the “big dogs” are here. Even though she's around them several days every week and they are, in essence, a pack, she is ever vigilant because this is her home, and she's bound to protect it. She never lets down her guard, and even though they are five times her size and weight, she does not back down from a fight. When they leave at the end of the day, she actually leaps about with obvious joy, even throws her toys into the air in jubilation. Now, finally, she can relax! We humans have exactly the same instinctual systems.

Fortunately for us, we have higher powers in our cerebral cortex. We can reason, analyze, and assess. We are able to decide true threat from imaginary threat. We can internally talk ourselves down from aggressive action to a more nuanced approach. We can choose not to paint everyone in any category with the same broad brush. We can even see “other” as “brother.” We have the ability to take an “as if” position, and view the world from the perspective of another. We have the options of acceptance, tolerance and compassion.

If we choose to live from our autonomic nervous system, we will be more like Liza. If we choose to live from our cerebral cortex, we will be more uniquely human. The way we choose to go is entirely up to us. Our character is determined by how we treat other people—as a constant threat, or as a holy encounter.

                                                  In the Spirit,

                                                      Jane