Love Somebody

Looking for an Upgrade?

“Someone who really loves you, sees what a mess you can be, how moody you can get, how hard you are to handle but still wants you in their life.”

Will Smith (on Twitter)

Did you know there are now approximately 2,500 singles dating websites in the U.S. Some folks see that as a great thing—lots of options, no limits. There is something to be said for busy adults having a semi-screening process and expanding the field of potential love candidates. All of us, after all, are looking for the perfect soul mate, and we don't have time to waste waiting for fate to find him/her.

I just spent the entire morning trying to upgrade Windows on my laptop. I had no idea it would take three-plus hours and lots of shutting down and rebooting. In the middle of all that cyber nonsense, it occurred to me that upgrading has settled into the human psyche in a concrete way, and now is its own reality. We're constantly expected to upgrade, update, and upload. I wonder whether that is what we're seeking on all these social network dating sites—an upgrade. “Tired of your old saw of a wife/husband? Go to Candy Land Love and get an upgrade!” Pretty soon, we'll be able to punch in some “must haves,” and a 3-D printer will fetch up the perfect spouse.

I guess I'm a cynic, but I do think fate plays a role in love. I think we humans need, more than almost anything, loving relationships—the kind born of knowing and living with the reality of one another. The kind that is not looking for an upgrade, but is comfortable and challenged by the day to day working through, and working out how to be in communion with another soul who is different from you, and yet loved by you. Not only is that fateful, but it is grace-filled as well.

In the Spirit,

Jane