Saturday, October 24, 2015

Clouds of Unknowing

Same Wave, Same Ocean

At this stage of my life, this sounds like a fifth Gospel, in which the good news is that dark and light, faith and doubt, divine absence and presence, do not exist at opposite poles. Instead, they exist with and within each other, like distinct waves that roll out of the same ocean and roll back into it again. As different as they are, they come from and return to the same source.”
Barbara Brown Taylor (Learning to Walk in the Dark)

The more years I add to my life, the less certainty I have about almost everything—and that's a good thing. I remember my twenties, when I knew absolutely everything, and would enlighten anyone who asked, and even anyone who didn't ask. I could have ruled the world when I was twenty-five, and it would have run a whole lot better. Nowadays, I just want to lose myself in a sunrise like this one today; to watch the nuances of cloud and color until they dissolve into blue sky. All the science of cause and effect are there, tucked away in a closet like last year's woolen mittens. All I need is to gaze without questions.

I am reminded of the 14th century spiritual text, “The Cloud of Unknowing,” which suggests that the way to know God is to give up trying to know God, and simply surrender the mind and the ego to “unknowing.” At that point, one just might catch a glimpse of God's nature.

It is somewhat helpful to adopt what philosopher, George Kelly, called the “as if” position. That is, opening one's mind to the fact that there are many ways to view the happenings of the world. I picture it as something like playing musical chairs, in which one moves from chair to chair registering a different opinion in each. One still ends up unknowing, but at least gains a wider perspective.

It is okay with me not to know at this life-stage. By now, one has either built enough trust capital between oneself and God, or not. I know that practicing such faith will mean that sometimes I will fail, sometimes fall. Sometimes I will make stupid mistakes, and blunder through delicate situations, and sometimes I will do what is right and good. What is clear is that I will never do these things alone. All duality comes from the same source and returns to it, and so do I. And so do you.

                                                     In the Spirit,


                                                         Jane

No comments: