Same
Wave, Same Ocean
“At
this stage of my life, this sounds like a fifth Gospel, in which the
good news is that dark and light, faith and doubt, divine absence and
presence, do not exist at opposite poles. Instead, they exist with
and within each other, like distinct waves that roll out of the same
ocean and roll back into it again. As different as they are, they
come from and return to the same source.”
Barbara
Brown Taylor (Learning to Walk in the Dark)
The
more years I add to my life, the less certainty I have about almost
everything—and that's a good thing. I remember my twenties, when I
knew absolutely everything, and would enlighten anyone who asked, and
even anyone who didn't ask. I could have ruled the world when I was
twenty-five, and it would have run a whole lot better. Nowadays, I
just want to lose myself in a sunrise like this one today; to watch
the nuances of cloud and color until they dissolve into blue sky. All
the science of cause and effect are there, tucked away in a closet
like last year's woolen mittens. All I need is to gaze without
questions.
I
am reminded of the 14th century spiritual text, “The
Cloud of Unknowing,” which suggests that the way to know God is to
give up trying to know God, and simply surrender the mind and the ego
to “unknowing.” At that point, one just might catch a glimpse of
God's nature.
It
is somewhat helpful to adopt what philosopher, George Kelly, called
the “as if” position. That is, opening one's mind to the fact
that there are many ways to view the happenings of the world. I
picture it as something like playing musical chairs, in which one
moves from chair to chair registering a different opinion in each.
One still ends up unknowing, but at least gains a wider perspective.
It
is okay with me not to know at this life-stage. By now, one has either built
enough trust capital between oneself and God, or not. I know
that practicing such faith will mean that sometimes I will fail,
sometimes fall. Sometimes I will make stupid mistakes, and blunder
through delicate situations, and sometimes I will do what is right
and good. What is clear is that I will never do these things alone.
All duality comes from the same source and returns to it, and so
do I. And so do you.
In
the Spirit,
Jane
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