Wednesday, September 9, 2015

Love 101:

Show Interest

I am still interested in what my fellow humans are up to. For me, a day spent monitoring the passing parade is a day well spent.”
Garry Trudeau

I had lunch with friends at an outdoor cafe on Monday. We perched on tall stools under the canopy of a blooming crepe myrtle, surrounded by pots of fragrant herbs. We shared enchiladas, tamales, and tacos, and talked and talked. It was a lovely, sunny day in an ideal setting. Just across from us sat an attractive, middle-aged, married couple, side by side on a couch, glasses of wine before them, waiting for their tapas to be served. Each of them had an I-phone in hand, and instead of looking at each other, they tapped away at their respective screens.

Here's the definition of “interested” from the Free Encyclopedia by Farlex: “Having or showing curiosity, fascination, or concern.” What on earth has happened to us that we now seem more interested in checking our email than in face-to-face communication? No wonder the Pope has decided to step up the annulment process! There will be a whole lot more of it if we're married to our I-phones and not to our flesh-and-blood life partners.

The biggest compliment one can give another human being is to show genuine interest in them. To ask questions and listen to answers, to share both information and vulnerability, to know them by memorizing their body language and moods. Be invested in what they are invested in, just because they are invested in it, and because you want to know as much about them as you can. That's what love looks like, whether it is romantic love or close friendship.

If we're more attuned to Twitter than to our significant others, human relationships are in trouble. Today, let's take an interest in the people around us. Let's put down our technology and look each other in the eye. “Today is life—the only life you are sure of.” (Dale Carnegie) Do you really want to spend it with a device?

                                                              In the Spirit,

                                                                  Jane

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