Monday, April 20, 2015

Learn to Discern

Trust

Trust is the glue of life. It's the most essential ingredient in effective communication. It's the foundational principle that holds all relationships.”
Stephen Covey

I believe we come into each lifetime with an assignment—something we will have ample opportunity to work on, and hopefully master. I have felt for most of my life that my assignment is trust. Trust is an enormous challenge for me, and as fragile as a butterfly's wing for most people. Carol Brady, of Brady Bunch fame, described it this way, “Trust is like a vase...once it's broken, though you can fix it, the vase will never be the same.”

Here's the part of this life-task-deal I would like to skip over: “...we will have ample opportunity to work on, and hopefully master.” People and situations will be placed in our path to help us accomplish the task. Always, trust is dicey business: if we're too trusting, we're easily taken advantage of, and if we trust no one, we end up sailing this voyage alone. Between those two poles is discernment, which requires trusting ourselves.

When we make mistakes and experience pain and humiliation as a consequence, our self-trust is undermined. When we get into relationships, whether business or personal, that go south, we lose faith in ourselves to make smart decisions. Regaining trust in ourselves is sometimes the biggest challenge of all. Discernment is a skill. Like any skill, there's a learning curve. Discernment requires bumping our noses, and sometimes, stumping our toes a few times. It requires thought and patience.

With each “opportunity” we either build trust, or further undermine it. The bottom line is, when we learn to trust ourselves, we will find it easier to trust others. Once the vase is broken, piecing it back together will not be easy. Sometimes, it may not be possible. The question becomes, “Is it worth it?”

                                                             In the Spirit,

                                                                   Jane 

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