Family
Choices
“From
a Hindu perspective, you are born as what you need to deal with, and
if you just try to push it away, whatever it is, its got you.”
Ram
Dass
It's
popular these days to say, “you don't get to choose your family.”
Some of us would, no doubt, like to have the choice of being born
into different circumstances than we were. Would it be more
acceptable, however, if we understood that our soul chose them ahead
of time for the lessons we would learn? Could it be that being born
at a particular time and place, to a certain parental pairing, isn't
random or accidental, but purposeful?
What
if we were to set ourselves the task of figuring out what we learned
from our family, our original tribe, that has shaped who we are as
individual adults today. What did they teach us—either
intentionally or by their behavior—that has directed our own path?
How are we like them; how are we different because of them? Have we
built our lives around trying NOT to be like them, or in attempts to
diminish their influence? Any way we go, the fact remains that our
family is the crucible in which we are formed. And that's as it
should be.
Once
you achieve three degrees of separation, it's easier to view family
in light of its influences. There is no normal. There is only the
reality of who they are, and who we are in relation to them. It is
never all good or all bad. Coming to peace with who we are, who gave
us life and depth, who created the waft and weave of our particular
tapestry, makes us better able to love unconditionally, which is what
it's all about.
In
the Spirit,
Jane
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