“Oughts”
and “Ifs”
“The
real enemies of our life are 'oughts' and 'ifs.' They pull us back
into the unalterable past and forward into the unpredictable future.
But real life takes place in the here and now.”
Henri
Nouwen
I'm
looking out my kitchen window into another gray winter day. The
street is wet with rain. Boredom has driven Liza to sniffing the
periphery of a house she knows as well as her own paws. Perhaps
she'll find something new and exciting in the crack of the
baseboards. It's tempting to be morose; to spend the day raking
through the debris of past injustices and future trials. Brooding
would match the weather.
I
can't think what would be served by that, and I know the choice is up
to me. Pondering the “oughts” and “ifs” is a completely empty
exercise, not to mention a waste of psychic energy. According to
Nouwen, “Each day holds a surprise. But only if we expect it can we
see, hear, or feel it when it comes to us.” He advises that we,
like Liza, keep our noses to the ground in search of such a surprise.
It's a good day to run an anti-virus scan on the computer, to dust
under the guest bed, to make soup, and do laundry. Not exciting,
maybe, but real life necessities that serve to ground us in
the here and now. Who knows, I may even find that interesting tidbit
Liza's searching for.
Again, Henri Nouwen, “Let's not be afraid to receive each day's surprise,
whether it comes to us as sorrow or as joy, it will open a new place
in our hearts, a place where we can welcome new friends and celebrate
more fully our shared humanity.” Sounds good to me.
In
the Spirit,
Jane
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