Yes
and No
“No
is a complete sentence and so often we forget that. When we don't
want to do something we can simply smile and say 'No.' We don't have
to explain ourselves, we can just say 'No.' Early on my journey I
found the ability to say no expanded my ability to say yes and really
mean it. My early attempts at saying no were far from graceful but
with practice even my no came from a place of love. Love yourself
enough to be able to say yes or no.”
Susan
Gregg
Do
you find it easy to say “No?” I don't know whether it has to do
with being a Southern woman, or simply with co-dependency, but the
ability to say, “No” does not come naturally to me. I struggle,
especially when someone I love asks me to do something, or to allow
something, that really goes against my grain. I want to please them,
not disappoint them, and so I capitulate and say “Yes” when I
really mean “No.” Usually that does not produce a good outcome, especially for me.
No
is a clean word. It doesn't need dressing up with a lot of excuses or
explanations. I have not yet learned this, but I'm working on it. I
still feel there must be a sound reason to say no beyond my desire
not to do whatever it is. I launch into a barrage of anxious
justifications as to why I can't possibly do that, instead of simply
saying, “No, I'd rather not.” See how easy that is, how whole and
even wholesome—like a perfect almond with just the right amount of
salt.
Southern
women learn early and well how to smile sweetly and say “Yes.”
Too often, behind that precious, compliant nature lies a heart of
darkness and duplicity. Walk softly and carry a sharp implement—in
the pocket of your skirt, of course. It's time to unlearn that
particular charm, I think. Time for the words Yes and No to stand on
their own in the light of freedom. Can I get an “Amen” on that?
In
the Spirit,
Jane
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