Recalibrating

A Sacred Pause

“Enough. These few words are enough.

If not these words, this breath.

If not this breath, this sitting here.

This opening to the life

we have refused

again and again

until now.

Until now.”

David Whyte

At the first of the month, rent on our booths is due at the Bama Flea. We cannot pick up our checks for the previous month's earnings until we pay rent for the coming month. When we picked up checks for this month, we received a three page announcement of what will be expected of us for the holiday months. In addition to cleaning our booths and removing any inventory that has been there for a year, we were informed it would now be mandatory for every dealer (there are 400 booths) to subscribe to the mall's internet service at a cost of $4.00 per month, and furthermore we were to provide food for the holiday open house, contribute a gift certificate, and be there to work. Suddenly, I felt like an employee in a sweat shop, rather than someone who contributes monthly to the income of the owners.

After thinking about this for a week, I realized that it wasn't so much the things I was being told to do, but it was the tone of the request. It came across as a dictate, and my response was to rebel against an authority figure. I had time to think about a response before delivering it. That's relatively new for me—as I've said before, I inherited my father's Irish temper. That pause allowed me to go back this week and explain my feelings to the manager in civil terms. I lodged a complaint, but not by blowing the doors off the place.

A pause is necessary in learning to navigate the world in a civilized manner. It gives us time to remove the powder from the fuse, and empty out the dynamite of our long-term, challenging behaviors. And we all have them. Whether we are that person who always caves-in and then harbors deep-seated resentment, or the person who pouts for lengthy periods to punish everyone who's ever crossed them, or the fire-brand who “gets even” in some malevolent manner, we all have life-long coping strategies that are not always healthy. Taking a moment, a breath, a sacred pause for recalibrating, will make life far less stressful for us and for others.

                                                 In the Spirit,

                                                      Jane