"How often should I forgive?"

Seventy-Seven Times

“Then Peter came and said to him, 'Lord, if another member of the church sins against me, how often should I forgive? As many as seven times?'
Jesus said to him, 'Not seven, but, I tell you, seventy-seven times.'”

Matthew 18:21-22

Ah...forgiveness...so easy to comprehend, so difficult to practice. We carry our wounds like plaque psoriasis all over our bodies. An unguarded word, a slip of the tongue, words said in a fit of anger, years of avoidance, spite and neglect—they add up, don't they? They form cankers that seem impossible to heal. They are so difficult to heal because healing comes only from forgiveness.

There's a woman in my neighborhood whom I don't know well, but who once spoke some terribly unkind words to me. She lambasted me for expressing what I thought was concern for someone else; her friend, who had Alzheimer's disease, and who was roaming the neighborhood at odd hours. She heard my words as critical and suggested I just wanted the woman locked up. I felt stung by the accusation. I went home and vowed never to approach her again. Several years ago, her sick friend died. Now, I see the woman walking on my street almost every day. I still have difficulty speaking to her, and she never looks my way. There's bad blood between us even though the cause for it no longer exists. Why do I hang on to that bitterness? Who but me is poisoned by it? Since there is no amend I can make, the only solution is forgiveness.

We hang on to our slights, our wounds, both major and minor, because it is tribal nature to do so. It is the 'us-against-them' mentality that underpins so many of our relationships, both personal and national. Only when we begin to forgive 'seventy-seven times' will we have a peaceful life and a peaceful planet.

                                                       In the Spirit,

                                                             Jane