Saturday, August 16, 2014

Adjusting the Lens

Memories

Memories are not the key to the past, but to the future.”
Corrie Ten Boom

A funny thing happens when we age. We remember differently. Or, perhaps, all the years of life that have been laid down, end to end, change the way we recall and interpret events. I am reading a book at the moment by Mary Alice Monroe, Sweetgrass, set in the low country around Charleston, South Carolina. It's about a family—and in the old South, “family” included all the aunts, uncles and cousins, the grandparents and anyone who worked in the household. In one scene, an older woman named Nona, who has worked for the family for forty years, is ironing a tablecloth—one of those ancient damask ones that lasts a hundred years. And as she irons, she recounts all the memories the tablecloth brings back. The entire history, her's and the family's, reflects in its soft folds, now reinterpreted from the distance of age and experience. It's a beautiful scene, and a classic example of how, like the tablecloth, we soften with time. We now understand what we could not grasp back then.

“The richness of life lies in the memories we have forgotten.” (Cesare Pavese) It is not necessary to hold on to every unfortunate event, every unkind word, every slight. It's good that with time, they change. It's akin to attaching a wide-angle lens to a camera and seeing the bigger picture. We can see our own role more clearly. We can include other events taking place in that person's life at the time. We can bring into view their history and how they were affected by it. Time is a great lens. Like the damask tablecloth, it holds history in a softer, gentler light.

                                               In the Spirit,

                                                    Jane 

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