Life on its own terms...

Acceptance or Resignation

“Acceptance of one's life has nothing to do with resignation; it does not mean running away from the struggle. On the contrary, it means accepting it as it comes, with all the handicaps of heredity, of suffering, of psychological complexes, and injustices.” Paul Tournier

All of us were born at a particular time and in a particular place. We were born to a set of parents, or a woman alone, and the world around us was whatever it was at the time. Some of us had what we think of as good fortune—born into families who loved and wanted us. We had their attention and sufficient food and nurturing to grow up with healthy self esteem. Some of us did not have the advantage of both parents being present; we did not have wealth or acceptance. Our self-worth suffered because of the time and place where we happened to have been born. Some of us had crazy, unreliable parents, or mean, self-centered parents. And some of us had good parents who were simply limited in what they could do for us and for themselves. Some of us had genetic factors in our families that manifested in us—some good, some not so good. Most of us had some combination of all that. These factors would fall into the category of what the Taoists refer to as “fate” or “destiny.” They are unchangeable. They must be taken at face value, accepted.

But unchangeable does not mean that they are impossible to overcome if they are negative, or that they will give us an overwhelming advantage, if they are positive. We must do here and now, in this lifetime, what we can, given the circumstances of our birth and childhood. It's not enough to say, as Caroline Myss is fond of reminding us, “I'm this way because my mother didn't give me cookies when I was a child. All she ever gave me was brownies!” We must accept our endowments, both positive and negative, and make the most of what we have. It is our responsibility to overcome the negatives so that we do not pass them on to the next generation. And it is our privilege and our challenge to take the positives and build on them. We, ourselves, must have the courage and the awareness to convert the elements of our fate into a life worth living.

                                                In the Spirit,

                                                 Jane